I would just like to gloat that when I was doing online dating three years ago, I met someone who had written an entire play that is an epilogue to The Importance of Being Earnest, and now here we are all together, him, me, and our cat.

(Sorry, he's not read Dickens.)

Oh hon, you are not being selfish. You are being wise and sensible, and quite apart from the fact that this is your body and your choice, you are doing the best for everyone else too. It's not surprising that it's an emotional thing to deal with in the middle of a break-up, though. I hope the abortion is easy to access and goes well, and that everything settles down nicely with being single again.

Oof, that sounds complicated. Sometimes people do take a while to get their head around a relationship, but other times this sort of thing is a big red flag of "well I fancy you but I don't actually want a relationship with you". Maybe set a time limit for yourself, another three weeks perhaps, and if it's still not getting anywhere by then, call it a day? They do sound rather like they're saying No, though, and that always has to be respected no matter what emotions are going on.

Erm, let's see. This one starts by going up an arpeggio and then I can't really describe the next bit and certain am not going to notate it in MuseScore, I spend enough time transcribing harp music in that.

Small cat small cat small cat small cat
With a quivery tail!
With a quivery tail!

Also I am working on a version of Edelweiss. So far it runs:

Caterpuss, caterpuss
(something something something - "you're my favourite beastie" works but is unimaginative and doesn't have a line to pair with it)
Caterpuss, caterpuss
(something something something to rhyme with the other line)
Kittycat mine, you are quite divine
Loving, soft and clever
Caterpuss, caterpuss (this bit gets too high, I discovered when actually singing it rather than composing in my head in the middle of the night)
You're the best cat forever!

We're trying. Sturgeon is being the only grown-up in sight about the whole subject and clearly Has A Plan. She's much better-liked than Salmond, smart, and will have hopefully learned from the mistakes of the first referendum. Although that was basically torpedoed by the English press (who also pushed heavily for leaving the EU) running a campaign of lies, threats and broken promises. Hopefully the Scottish public, and in particular the pensioners (who don't chatter much on social media but my god, do they vote), will understand better this time.

Ireland is talking about reunification, which could get messy.

Honestly we all just want to get the fuck away from England, as does the EU, which has told England to fuck off and behave and Scotland and Northern Ireland that they are welcome to join if they can. I'm English by birth, eighteen years there and now twenty years in Scotland, and I want to get the fuck away from it too.

I mentioned the supposed 4% to my partner, and his immediate response was, "Bullshit." Neither of us thinks it's at all likely. Although possibly there's something we're missing about farmers? I mean, even the cops don't carry guns.

It's probably happened, but I've never heard of it, and my guess would be that it's vanishingly rare. I found a stat of 1.8% of suicides in England and Wales in 2011. Apparently it's over half of suicides in the US. I've never seen a gun in this country, including TV footage of polis etc. (not that I have a TV). I have known a lot of people who have attempted suicide. I've never personally known anyone who completed it, though I've had friends lose people that way (again, not to guns). Apparently 4% of UK households have guns, which is surprisingly high to me, and which is possibly about (mostly wealthy) types who go hunting in rural areas, but honestly I have no idea as no one ever sees them. The only time I've known someone carrying a gun was when my Israeli family were doing their military service, and I'm including an old family friend who's a copper in that.

A good friend of mine has schizophrenia. It is such a hard illness to have, and so horribly stigmatised to boot. She had to drop out of her postgrad degree when it flared up after her ex-wife left her, she's too ill to work, she's had the odd spell in hospital (where the food was crap so we were all sending her care packages). We are also lucky enough to live in a country with free healthcare, and while it's not perfect, I'm guessing she may have access to better resources than your brother did. Women are more likely than men to be socialised to turn our distress in on ourselves rather than taking it out on other people, too, and I don't think she's ever been violent, not even when having a shitty time of it with psychosis. I know she's been suicidal, but I don't know whether she's ever attempted anything.

I've also known a lot of people who have been victims of domestic violence, as I have myself, as my mother was. If guns had been around, not all of these people would be alive today. As you say, it can be done on an impulse.

Possibly the fact that the other side is so unimaginable, from both sides, is why so many Americans can't think their way through the possibility of living in a society without guns everywhere? A friend of a friend on Facebook today told me to use the US as a warning when people here advocate more guns, not realising that we don't actually have that problem. There's some wrangling over whether fox-hunting should be banned (yes, it should!) and that's the nearest thing I can think of.

Thank you for saying that. I am hearing so many Christians saying "oh, no REAL Christian is homophobic" today, and it is horribly unpleasant.

Incredibly rarely, when there's an unusually bad one in the US and it dominates the international news. I live in Scotland, where the last mass shooting was in the nineties and we promptly banned handguns. I can't get my head around the idea of living with that fear. I know it happens, but it's a completely alien thought, just like the idea of having the death penalty or a serious risk that the police will kill someone (it happens, but it's incredibly rare). I am so sorry that you all have to live with those risks.

I grew up in London, not that I really remember the one Pride I went to there, and live in Edinburgh. Yes, there's a police presence at Pride here. I grew up Jewish, with security at the synagogue for major festivals, so I mentally file it away as normal, whereas my (straight) partner was shocked to see it.

The crowds are tricky, but you can join in some bits and not others.