Hey everyone!

My beau and I are considering joining fetlife. I figured this place may be a treasure trove of stories and reviews of it and what I can expect. We're not SUPER kinky, but we're definitely into some stuff that's a bit outside the "norm" (threesomes, exhibitionism, light BDSM) and I think our goal is to find some more like-minded individuals to be inspired by and possibly play with. ALSO, I work in healthcare, and I think we want to proceed with caution so as not to jeopardize my career, if that's a thing? Thoughts?

oh yeah, that's a discussion we're having at our next week's meeting with our therapist (shit, I can't bring myself to talk with him about anything heavy alone, the trust for him be caring and listen and not tear me to pieces just isn't there at this point)

soooooo... this is my anonymous acct, (regular poster) - and I've got some heavy stuff in my head and I was wondering if my lovely toastrons could help with any information or thoughts or feelings....

my lovely husband started to drink more heavily and become more prone to attacks of verbal abuse shortly after we married a couple years ago. I finally got to the point where I left last weekend, and am staying with my sister. He and I are seeking therapy, but I've got a few things that I MUST have in our relationship in order to move back in and I'm very unsure about how he will approach this (especially since the man I married is not the man he is now - I believe there is some mental health + substance abuse combo that has unfortunately turned him from the way he was).

One of the things that is depressing me most about this is that I'm SO READY to have a baby. SO READY. My age is a bit up there too (37). I've been soothing my depression a bit by fantasizing about having a child by myself if things with my husband and I don't work out. I really am loving these little fantasies, and feel like I can make a more level headed decision about us if I'm not feeling dependent on him to have a child.

Which brings me to my question(s): is it a horrible idea to embark upon single motherhood? I have a decent paying job, and excellent (but small) family who would be glad to help when they can. Also, has anyone out there in Toastland done artificial insemination? Or done some other thing (mutual agreement?) to get pregnant with no strings attached? How difficult or stupid is it?

(ETA: I'm not ready to jump ship on my husband yet - I'm realizing it sounds like I've totally checked out already - I definitely haven't. I still love him and am willing and able to work with a therapist FROM A DISTANCE with him to see if we can work it out so I avoid any further abuse)

thank you, I'm actually choking up a bit here. I'm learning how to balance loving him and keeping my sanity, and it's tough but it's worth it. Hopefully we emerge from this holiday more unscathed than not.

I think it absolutely is. It's been a very stressful year, with me working full time and schooling almost full time, and he's developed this habit since then. He's got ADHD, and I think he feels really lonely with me being out of the house. We've talked about it, and he's usually self aware. But I've realized I've got to draw firmer boundaries around how he talks to me. And I feel good about it but it makes me sad and nervous and I'm sweating and shaking right now because of him going off on me because I told him I didn't want people coming to our house.

my husband may or may not have an evolving alcohol problem (he does but he doesn't really admit to it, just calls himself a "weekend warrior") and I'm getting to the point where I'm really just shutting down in lieu of watching him binge drink into oblivion. He's not really an angry drunk, usually. Worst case scenario is that he gets frustrated with me or I get mad at him and then he loses his shit verbally.

He's recently talked about "cutting back" because he asked some friends if they thought he had a drinking problem, and they said "yes" (thank you, friends). But he's already gone out for a couple drinks, and is waiting for me to get home where he'll badger me to have a "pregame session" at our house before going to the bar around 8 with some friends. I've said I don't want to do that, and he already laid into me, telling me he doesn't want me coming along tonight with my rotten attitude.

I'm completely. Dreading. This holiday.