This is so interesting, Lori. Over the summer, I saw many friends doing some kind of "marriage challenge" on facebook that actually was kind of sweet and cute. Someone would nominate you, and then you'd be challenged to post 7 pictures for 7 days (one a day) about your spouse and how much you love them. It was a woman thing - I only saw females being challenged and doing it, and I loved reading what they had to say - all just good things about their spouse or about what they were doing in that particular picture that day. It actually made me smile and have joy for them! I was nominated eventually and did the same and liked it.

Then!!!! LOL Apparently, many women on facebook had been watching these challenges and getting quietly angry that their own marriages weren't like that. They were angry that these women were only choosing the good pictures to show during this challenge, and there were a few blog posts calling it out as fake or misleading about marriage. It's a false accusation because it was never meant to show the full side of marriage anyway, it was meant to show the good moments, the moments couples took pictures of and were proud of in life.

The women who had this pet peeve of seeing happy marriages on facebook, ran with the idea that the challenge was fake and did pictures of their own - them having a stressful argument with their husbands where he's driving them crazy, or a picture showing them too tired and lounging on the couch because it wouldn't be a night for sex. Just focusing really on the negative things and calling that "keeping it real."

Anyway... to tie it in with what you're saying, I think why so many Christian women write about their own brokenness is maybe a way of them trying to focus on the negativity in their life and at the same time be "keeping it real," in their minds. The only problem is that, while it is real for them, we're supposed to get beyond that and do the spiritual work (that we ourselves are responsible for) to live a life of an overcomer.

Lots to dwell on and think about regarding this.... Thanks!

Love this Lori! Completely feel the same way - there is so much I'm able to do *with ease* now that I wouldn't have the time or energy to do if I was having to work full-time. So thankful for our husbands who sacrifice so much!

Such a beautiful and much needed post Lori!!! I'm behind on your posts with the excitement of school starting, but just wanted you to know that every time I stop by your site, I never regret it! Always Encouraging.

I agree! I've learned so much about home-making simply from youtube and women's blogs (go figure!). My mom worked all our childhood - from the time I was 6 weeks old and didn't retire until I was in college. The house was always extremely messy, much like what I think the Joy Filled Wife wrote about.

Now that she's retired, she's able to have a clean and relaxing house. She told me the other day that she loved watching what I'm doing with the kids (I was elated!). She actually said, "You're doing what I should have done." Wow!! It was very affirming to hear that.

"I would rather others not remember my outfit, and instead remember the smile I wear or the tone of my voice when speaking in love to them"

Yes, this! And just to add, I eventually came to the conclusion that although it says she wears this expensive, brilliant and highly coveted color in that time when it was worth so much, I really do believe that she was remembered for *everything else* she did! This woman, over the course of her lifetime, was just so outward focused that it's an incredible model for us to follow and study ourselves to become more like that! When the verse talks about her reaching out to the poor and needy, the real meanings are very deep and show the depth of her heart for people and God, and desire to be used as an instrument!

Everything she did was to help and assist and love her family and reach out to others. My conclusion was basically that she was so focused on helping others and fulfilling her purpose to her family, that her outward appearance and fashion was just not the focus of her life, in fact, because she made her garments herself and used her talents to bring in an income to bless her family, her outward appearance (wearing the purple color) was more a byproduct of the blessings of hands. Not the focus of it in any way. Her heart was still pure, and she's still provided as an excellent example to follow.

I'm doing another post right now that will give Lydia in the New Testament as another virtuous woman example. She was a seller of this costly purple, and many depictions in the Greek Orthodox church depict her wearing the purple itself. Even though she sold and traded in this worldly and desirable color, she used her wealth from it to bless and host Paul and the men with him! In other words, she was seeking after the Kingdom of Heaven, and not chasing wealth, even though God blessed her with wealth. She was a good steward over it. It'd be a little like Vera Wang using her talents and income to bless Christians in need and house missionaries in her mansion. Very strange and unexpected, but there in the Bible to enlighten us :)

Lori, I shared mostly the same sentiments about modesty as you until really diving in to one of the verses about the Proverbs 31! It was beyond strange and peculiar to me to study about the purple color the virtuous woman wore. It was so expensive that it was worth it's weight in silver. It was so beautiful and rare in that day, and even for centuries before and after, that some civilizations actually put restrictions and laws around *who* could wear that color.

You should read the post! I go into a lot of the questions most Christians would have about why the Bible would say she was wearing something that could be seen as a costly status symbol. The purple is also mentioned all throughout the Bible, and I go into that as well, along with the commentaries from Biblical male scholars about what it all means.

Here is the post if you're interested: https://girlwithadragonflytattoo.com/2016/06/29/t...

This is so beautiful, Lori!

"This description let all women daily study, who desire to be truly beloved and respected, useful and honourable."

Love this! I can't believe how much studying the verses in Proverbs 31 have changed how
I see so many things regarding our higher calling to biblical womanhood and beauty. To leaving a legacy in our children and grandchildren and beyond. To being women of true strength and dignity. It's just amazing and almost endless in the lessons to be learned from this one passage for women.

It is really hard for the police, Lori. My husband is a police officer, and all the wives I know and their husbands are just devastated right now. Today felt numb and emotionally anguished at the same time. They definitely need prayer, and their families!

Ken and you and both doing great, Lori. I followed his comments on Dalrock's blog, defending his and your ministry and it really really saddened me. I think when blogs aren't moderated, when insults and cuss words are allowed to fly, it pollutes the whole atmosphere and Christ is no longer glorified.

I'm so glad you set an example for younger women to not be involved in debating - to not let your blog become focused on that. People will always want to criticize or debate (and there are places for them to do that), but it's very wonderful to see how you personally deal with that yourself. Its a "No nonsense" approach, and I love it!

Lori, the argument SW is using is the same that has been used to say that Christian women shouldn't have blogs. Basically, a lot of critics want you to be completely silent, even though what you are doing is good and God-ordained even.

And if it were just Ken trying to teach all these women, you know what they would accuse him of? Subverting the headship of all those women's husbands! LOL They would find any excuse to say y'all weren't doing the right thing.