IntenseDebate - FriendOfDaja

3 years ago @ Clever Manka - Thursday Link Dump · 0 replies · +1 points

Delurking to say: wow, that article. With all due respect to the writers, it reads like they need to step out of academia for a few seconds and make friends with actual nonbinary people. They're dissecting an identity based on things they've seen on twitter or read in gender theory.

At least for me, I know I'm nonbinary because I wouldn't want to be a man, but I don't feel like a woman either (though I'm not bothered about being perceived as one). That's what this discussion seems to miss--- nonbinary is not tied to either male or female, it exists independent of the two (or at least as some mix). There's a lack of imagination that I recognize from talking to people about my asexuality--if you're a person who experiences sexual attraction, it's going to be extremely difficult to understand asexuality (especially aces who still have sex), because our whole society is built on a really specific understanding of sex.

I wish there was more of an understanding of trans (staying within the M/F binary) and trans (nonbinary) as two separate things. Like, isn't queerness all about ignoring a binary system?

5 years ago @ Clever Manka - Friday Open Thread · 1 reply · +4 points

I second you on hot-weather/bad news depression. It's going to be 100F where I am, and I will need to find other places to be that aren't my unairconditioned apartment (although the main thing I need to get done is packing up ugh).

Maybe something on how to make it through summer when you're *not* a summer person?

5 years ago @ Clever Manka - Mid-week check-in · 1 reply · +3 points

I just read Blackfish City! So good (kind of terrifying), I'm glad it's been recognized!

5 years ago @ Clever Manka - Thursday Link Dump · 13 replies · +4 points

I loved that link about touch and asexuality. I just came out this year as ace-spec, and it is such a confusing thing to navigate!! Though it also makes me realize why dating has always been so tough for me---that expectation of things ending in sex feels like it hangs over every part of the process (and over every part of our cultural in general). Like, I'm all for sex-positivity, and I'm not turned off by the idea of sex, but it doesn't have to be the end-all be-all of relationships.

Ugh, heteronormativity. On a lighter note, the reality TV article was also great, but I wish they had addressed that meme about how the couples on the show always have insane jobs that theoretically shouldn't pay enough for the houses they view ("He's a chinchilla beautician and she's a professional stamp collector! Their budget is 3.5 million").

5 years ago @ Clever Manka - Tuesday Tumblr Collection · 3 replies · +10 points

You would appreciate the burlesque show I saw last week!

It was Jurassic Park themed, and someone in a blow-up T-Rex outfit did a striptease while making out with a Jeff Goldblum impersonator. Pure magic :D

5 years ago @ Clever Manka - Friday Open Thread · 0 replies · +4 points

Last week, I would have been very pessimistic and said that moving apartments was the cycle I was caught in (4th time in so many years), but I am finally finished with that!! So now I'd say it's the reminder that no matter how shitty and stressful the semester/life gets, I always come out on the other side eventually.

Everyone here is complaining about drizzly, 50 degree weather, but I'm just enjoying going outside without winter clothes and without sweating to death. It makes me feel like I haven't entirely missed spring in the haze of papers and sick days and moves. I finally feel like a human being again, and I'm actually looking forward to the summer (wrapping up my program, quitting my shitty job, potentially moving to a new city, etc. etc. etc.). If anyone else needs those good vibes, I am putting them out now!

5 years ago @ Clever Manka - Friday Open Thread · 0 replies · +4 points

This is such a real feeling of confusion. I'm not quite in the same situation, since where I was born and lived until age 13 is objectively "better" than the place we moved to. But I still get weirdly territorial when people judge both areas. Like, yes, New England has a lot going on for it that Appalachia doesn't, but both areas have their bonuses (and their fair share of snobs!)

5 years ago @ Clever Manka - Thursday Link Dump · 0 replies · +5 points

I love the art work for this week!

Also, the STEM barbies made me think of one of the first barbie dolls I received, as a dinosaur-obssessed 6 year old. I give you Paleontologist Barbie, complete with pink canteen: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/567172146805107686/

6 years ago @ Clever Manka - Mid-week check-in · 0 replies · +4 points

::Some of us are queer and neurodivergent and it took us a while::

Yeppp, this right here.

6 years ago @ Clever Manka - Mid-week check-in · 2 replies · +5 points

Thinking about what could have been is always the roughest part. I totally sympathize with you since I'm just starting to dig that stuff up myself.
I don't know if it would help you, but I try to find people who figured their shit out later in life (or even after their 20s/30s) as role models. Michelle Tea's book helped me feel better about missing out on things as a teen/young person, even though her issues had more to do with substance abuse.

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