IntenseDebate - cuntessvonfingerbang

11 years ago @ The Toast - Friday Open Thread · 0 replies · +2 points

I would seriously kill for that right now.

11 years ago @ The Toast - Friday Open Thread · 0 replies · +6 points

Wow, who'da thunk it?!?!

11 years ago @ The Toast - Friday Open Thread · 14 replies · +12 points

You guys, I am SO GRUMPY today. Why does my body insist on being a garbage nightmare all the time? Harumph. Can you guys share some cute animal pictures to cheer me up please?

11 years ago @ The Toast - Seven Vignettes about ... · 0 replies · +9 points

I pictured him being named Truman, personally.

11 years ago @ The Toast - Seven Vignettes about ... · 0 replies · +20 points

Re: "what kind of store is this?" I once worked at a weird upscale dog clothing store. It was called "Urban Dog" and it had pictures of dogs on the sign and little dog mannequins wearing bedazzled collars and sweaters in the front window. Weird concept, but pretty obvious, right? NOPE. We had at least a couple of people come in daily asking, "is this a children's clothing store?" or "do you sell women's clothes here?" Um, seriously people?

11 years ago @ The Toast - Seven Vignettes about ... · 0 replies · +24 points

Yes! It's the "forced teaming" thing that really rubs me the wrong way.

11 years ago @ The Toast - Seven Vignettes about ... · 1 reply · +58 points

The absolute worst.

My favourite food service job was at a lovely little restaurant owned by two of the most stuck up, weird, bitter people I've ever met. I absolutely adored them. One time I had a customer complain about his friend's meal. His own meal was fine, and the friend wasn't upset about receiving buttered toast instead of dry toast, it was just a weird ego thing I guess. This asshole screamed in my face, called me incompetent, and demanded to speak to the manager. My boss walked over to the table, listened politely to the guy as he explained the situation, and then kicked him out without letting him finish his meal. Take that, motherfucker!

11 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 0 replies · +3 points

I thought it was just the texture too, but then I tried someone's supposedly *amazing* cream of mushroom soup that had absolutely no chunky bits, and it was still horrifying. So I guess it's also the taste? The idea of eating a fungus is definitely not helping me psychologically.

11 years ago @ The Toast - Children's Stories Mad... · 0 replies · +19 points

Most children's books do seem to be stories about boys! I'm lucky that my feminist mother curated my book collection very carefully up until the age of about 22, so I was honestly never aware of that. In my book collection, most narrators and protagonists are female and super cool. The downside of course is that now I have no idea how to find books for myself and I hate everything. Mooooooom, helllllllp. :(

11 years ago @ The Toast - At Least They Left Me ... · 0 replies · +4 points

Ooh, ooh, I have a couple of weird theft stories!

Ok, a couple of years ago someone tried to steal my ex-boyfriend's shitty work truck. They busted the drivers' side door handle, and disassembled the ignition (you can start it with a screwdriver now) but they left it in the driveway. We were confused, until we realized they probably didn't understand that it only starts if it's in reverse - if it's in park or neutral it won't start for some reason. It's also a work truck, so it beeps when it's in reverse, so maybe if they did put it in reverse they were scared off by the beeping? Either way, phew I guess.

Other theft story: my ex told me this one about my other ex (they were really good friends, because lesbians). Ex #1 was at Ex #2's house while they were getting ready to go meet some other friends. Ex #2 went to take a shower while Ex #1 waited for her. When Ex #2 got out of the shower, Ex #1 said, "wow, you sure have a lot of money in your bedside table drawer! It's a good thing I'm not a thief, because I could totally have stolen it if I wanted to, ha ha ha."

Unsurprisingly, she was never invited to Ex #2's house ever again.

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