Look, I catch MYSELF looking at what women display without realizing it-- it is unfair to expect my husband to keep his eyes front and center at all times. Lori, I think you're exactly right-- sometimes we make more of it than it is (perhaps in doing so, ignore the real issue). The key is balance. A healthy relationship can withstand the occasional onslaught of "outside" cleavage. The problem comes when the healthy balance in a marriage is off kilter and one or the other spouse is abusing their role-- that's sin and needs to be dealt with. Porn, abuse, affairs all fall outside of God's plan for marriage. That needs to be addressed appropriately. Really any discussion like this online usually turns into a minefield because there is such a continuum of experience.

Also, I love your advice on teaching my son to "bounce" his eyes! We'll have to talk about that!