Sometimes it's a communication issue. Women are great at hinting about what needs to be done. Men aren't great at picking up on those hints. I just ask directly, and I'm patient and flexible about when things get done. I don't nag. I've also learned over the years not to complain. When I do it makes it seem like I'm unhappy when in reality I'm just venting. Husbands want to come home to a happy low stress environment. I agree with Cynthia. There's no need to be more concerned about the house than the people in it. My kids are old enough to chip in and do their part. That's a big step. We also have a schedule in place for big ticket items and we do some chores together like folding and putting away laundry. Thanks for the thoughtful post.