I know these feels. I'm half Puerto Rican, and my dad never spoke Spanish with us growing up, which is my biggest resentment against my parents to this day (which is not so bad, all things considered). I don't think it was an attempt to make us assimilate--it was just easier. My mom is a gringa and we mostly lived in the continental US growing up. I did live in PR from birth - 2 and 10 - 14, and still did not become fluent in those times, because: 1) my family made fun of me every time I tried to speak Spanish 2) strangers made fun of me every time I tried to speak Spanish 3) preadolescence does not jive well with embarrassment 4) I went to English speaking schools, and most everyone in San Juan speaks English anyway.

I took Spanish throughout middle school, high school, and college, and studied abroad in Chile, and FINALLY I felt pretty fluent after that. Chile was a great place to learn because I found that very few people I encountered spoke English, so they were pretty patient with my fumbling. Chilean Spanish is super weird, though. But I came back to the States and speak Spanish so rarely that it's pretty dang dormant, even though I live in a city with a large Latino population. I can still understand everything people say, but am very halting when I speak. I'm going to Mexico soon and am dreading/looking forward to using the language there.

From an identity perspective, it's especially hard because I am often externally perceived as being a gringa--I'm very pale and freckly and my Puerto Rican last name sounds Italian to a lot of people. So I feel the need to assert myself as Latina, and then people are like "so you speak Spanish?" and I'm like "weeeell....mas o menos."

i did the 3-sessions thing with a trainer at my gym and he is my dream trainer: supportive of lifting heavy, smart about fitness research, didn't yell at me, getting a PhD in physiology. HOWEVER. since he is so awesome and educated, he's their most-expensive tier of trainer, which means it's $90 (!!!!!!!!!) per session. i can't even afford that once a week. so, i will plug away sadly at the little routine he gave me by myself forever.

the posture

too real

when i give my guinea pig vegetables, he snatches it from my hand and runs away making the zoidberg whoo-whoo-whoo sound. it's pretty much my favorite trait of his

Which is worse?!

May you never achieve the perfect bite of salad.

May you craft the perfect bite of salad then knock it off your fork en route to your mouth.

Yeah seriously. We briefly thought of a cocktail hour, but that would cause a RIOT among all the people flying from the Caribbean to the Midwest. They want some meat after a flight like that, dammit!

I also don't feel bad about having a "destination wedding," because...there is literally nothing we can do about it, except be understanding when people can't take off work and spend the money to come (which we are!).

I think a lot of people are going out of their way to come, since it's the first wedding in my generation on both my mom's and dad's side and the first wedding among my college social circle. People aren't jaded yet!

I feel like, in this Modern Age, a lot of weddings become destination weddings because social networks are so far-flung. I'm getting married where I currently live, in a major city, but at least half of the guests will have to fly in because our college friends moved, my family is huge and not local, etc. So...I guess it's a destination wedding for a lot of people, but that would have the case no matter where we hold the wedding.

I am doing a master's right now and have picked up a newfound love for statistics, and have thought briefly about pursuing a PhD. I'm introverted and enjoying spending time working out problems, so I think it would fit my personality better than some office jobs. I just don't want the lifestyle of an academic, though. I don't want to be broke and moving around through my childbearing years, I don't want to lack control over where I live and work. So I think I'll just stop with my professional master's and Be a Person Who Does Stats Things in an Office instead of a statistician.

i can't read this because i'm distracted by shukert's excellent hair.

SEVEN DOLLARS A POUND? sheesh. my drop-off laundromat does it for 65 cents a pound. i always felt like they could be charging more, but i didn't realize it got that expensive.