Umm WHOA I want this.

Hmm, dirtiest thing I've done.... probably the infield of Preakness. Twice.

Umm, agreement here. 5 hours of sleep is HEAVENLY. Also, I was thinking about this the other day, only now as a mother do I find myself feeling actual anger/frustration at my bladder's inability to empty itself faster. (When there's a baby putting his mouth on the trash can, about to pinch his fingers in a door, taking the lid off a stick of deodorant etc etc etc etc etc etc ad infinitum.)

This is a terrific story. The visual of the fruit roll up drool just slayed me.