IntenseDebate - balefulregards

11 years ago @ The Toast - Families Who Hate Each... · 0 replies · +35 points

I feel this way about perfectly ripe peaches. I can't tell you how many times my child has thrown one down her maw while I thought: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

11 years ago @ The Toast - Women Trying To Sleep ... · 0 replies · +20 points

We went separate bedrooms in 2009. I think it saved our marriage.

11 years ago @ The Toast - Women Trying To Sleep ... · 0 replies · +38 points

I sleep diagonally in my Queen Bed. With 15 pillows.

11 years ago @ The Toast - Women Trying To Sleep ... · 13 replies · +82 points

Not just in Art, but my experience is that men will wake you up at ALL TIMES.

"Hon? Are you asleep? No? Well then! Let me regale you with my dumb idea and/or suggest we have sex because you are now awake and clearly not so tired as to be asleep."

This is *seriously* why my spouse and I have separate bedrooms.

I also have the "no launching of intense discussions needing immediate decisions at 10:50 p.m. when I am about to start watching The Daily Show and relaxing" rule.

11 years ago @ The Toast - Fictional Characters W... · 0 replies · +17 points

Anna Karenina had the abortion. After the rush of new love faded, she realized that Vronsky was balding and had a Mommy complex.

She left her husband to his own devices, took her son and became a stunning Hat model for artists of the day.

11 years ago @ The Toast - How To Talk To Babies ... · 1 reply · +5 points

I don't think these parents were going for Traditional names. They are chemists and were trying to go with Xenon, but changed it to a Z in front to help others.

I *do* know a ton of Attila's. Mostly Hungarian. I was all "WHAT!" when I met my first one, thinking "The Hun?"

11 years ago @ The Toast - A Glossary For Common ... · 0 replies · +24 points

As an aside, I hate the book "I love you forever" *almost* as much as I hate "The Giving Tree".

Also, I am a Mom. I have had a blog since 2005. Never once have I used wierd cutesy acronyms. I did once call my child a hellspawn who pupated from the bus, however.

Also, I feel like sharing that Homeland Security was reading my blog today. I shit you not. I joked about my kid having ebola in 2006.
We can all be relieved that they have decided to check it out TODAY to make sure I wasn't harboring any potential terrorist stashes in my house.

11 years ago @ The Toast - How To Talk To Babies ... · 4 replies · +14 points

1. As a human who wrote her dissertation using Vygotsky/Bakhtin, this fucking delighted me.

2. I know a baby named Zenon. Soak it in. Zenon.

11 years ago @ The Toast - Less Pretentious Title... · 0 replies · +10 points

One paper I wrote was

"What we talk about when we talk about talking: The Short stories of Raymond Carver."

I still think it was kind of brilliant/lame.

Brillame.

11 years ago @ The Toast - Normal Milestones In C... · 0 replies · +50 points

I am a Professor of Early Childhood Education and I approve this developmental checklist.

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