You forgot the most babely and also maybe most martyr-y one:

Oh yeah. It depicts female sexual pleasure/desire, she's a single mother trying to bring up her daughter to be strong and self sufficient, men are constantly trying to undermine her. It's a pretty solid book. It's the teachers who are too afraid to touch the parts of literature that really matter, and the faux-Sunshine School culture we have in schools where no one is ever supposed to get mad about things that ruin it.

(Also, sorry, I really think about things a lot. I think that people forget that the Scarlet Letter was a historical novel when it was published. Hawthorne is talking about the past and drawing an analogy to his present which is pretty common in social commentary but like, old is old is old, right?)

Though, just to defend The Scarlet Letter: Hawthorne is a pretty feminist author compared to his contemporaries and the book does have a connection to a lot of female students who are regularly shamed for sexual behavior and feel pressured to submit to male desires. It resonates with a lot of female readers, even though it is totally written by a white dead dude and novels that describe female experiences are also very excluded.

/Oh, no! I thought you were interesting but you’re just unhappy!/
That is the realest shit I have ever heard.

True fact I accidentally started a food blog last week because I thought of a punny name and then struggled to post because all I make are eggs. So I wrote about making perfect eggs.

You gotta get that pan really really really hot so that the white cooks right as it hits the pan, lady.