your comment about your husband reaction inspired me to give some reflections on my own diagnosis reaction on http://hansaspergerjunior.blogspot.com/

just let him read and write. Talking about it is stressful. That's why I blog and read about research and other people's experience. Biggest challenge of late life diagnosis is framing your life till then. We all have stories about ourselves and they need a lot of reworking and re-understanding. Try to learn about the strengths of aspergers. Asperger's as an explanation of all the problems is much harder to accept then a development/learning/communication condition that made us the person we are. With the things we are rightly proud off: the commitments we made, the trust we gave, etc.