it was Kittykitti22@aol.com (or kittikitty)

We moved to Maine last year, and on Memorial Day out town had this lovely parade, with antique cars, and tiny horses... but as soon as one of the "Town Elders" got up to the bandshell and started speaking through the wonky microphone I was like- uh oh now is when they start the sorting/stoning

To this day I feel differently about my husbands family because of the way the did not deal with me after my father's death.

They came to the memorial service, which was very decent, there was a huge snow storm and it was 2 hours from where they live. And it was very nice of them to do so.

But not once after that did anyone ask if I needed anything, or did we want to come over for dinner or could we join them when they were going out, or did I need help with anything. They barely called to see how I was doing. I was bereft and jobless (The restaurant I was working at closed the day my Dad died- the whole situation was tragic on so many levels) I could barely form words much less get out of bed for two months I was so devastated. My father died very quickly of cancer, and he was my best friend, I'd never been so lost in my life.

My husband (who was then my fiance) and I were living 15 minutes at most away from them, my family was much farther away. And I judge them by it, I can't help it. As much as he could say they didn't really know, I know it wasn't that it was that they didn't think to ask or try, my MIL sent me a freakin' card, when what I really needed was someone who would give me a ride to the grocery store at the very least. But I suppose it was too awkward for them, whatever.

I did have friends who were amazing, but it's not that I will never forgive my in laws there's nothing to forgive, but I at the very least will be aware of who they are.

Choosing to help someone or not help someone is a measure of character.