People outside of my online social media bubble always ask me questions like this, and I think it's because we as humans are just so used to rules and restrictions that the concept of open water is intimidating. But seriously, all I tell people is STOP TRYING SO HARD. Just be yourself, do your thang, and it will happen.

Lisa,

Thank you for posting this. I am very sorry for your loss and it reminds me of watching my grandfather die of emphysema from smoking his whole life, whether it was a pipe or cigarettes. And by "watch him die," I mean literally -- I was 18 and stood next to him as I watched his body violently gasp for air and not being able to breathe. I remember the look in his eyes as he did so and then I remember standing in the room watching him fall into a coma and leave us. It was horrible.

My boyfriend smokes. A lot. Like a pack a day or more. I hate it. He knows I want him to quit. He said last year he was going to quit and made no effort. Both of his parents died from different forms of cancer and that has me especially worried. I don't want to see him die like I watched my grandfather die, but he doesn't listen, and it's painful.

Great points, Lisa! I think #4 especially resonates with me, personally. It's not that I write too much, it's that I care about the value of my writing so much (probably too much), and do so much research that I get overwhelmed with information and think that maybe that idea I had wasn't so original after all, and whatever point I wanted to make has already been made in the blogosphere multiple times, so I don't end up writing it because I don't want to sound like a "me too" person or just another blogger writing about ___. Many times I don't say anything at all, even if I do have some original takes, just because by that time, I'm tired of reading about it and don't want to think about it anymore!

So because of fear of unoriginality, I find myself not being consistent with when I post. This is a constant struggle for me, but I kind of think I'd rather be a person who doesn't write as often, but when she does, it's great stuff, than somebody who regurgitates everything she reads way too frequently and never has anything original.

Reading what I just wrote I think what I would add to this list, perhaps as #5.5 to go along with letting your personality shine through, is don't be afraid to admit your weaknesses. I find myself admitting a lot of things in blog comments (like above) that I'm not proud of, or that I have trouble with and need to work on, confessing to stuff I probably shouldn't have done/said online, etc. I'm only human, and that's a large part of social media that people forget -- yes, "it's about the relationships," but it's also about admitting your faults, learning from your mistakes, and putting your proverbial pants on one leg at a time.