Hi Hazel, thanks for putting it so beautifully. I have to say that music for me often serves as a way to connect. Whether it's to a part of myself, the artist, or a memory...it definitely helps me transcend time and place. I think it's that deep level of connection that we often seek in life, which music and artistic expression tends to serve.
I am proud to have shared the last 6 yrs. of my life as your wife. I look forward to the rest of my days as your friend and #1 supporter. Thank you for being flexible and open to growth and possibility. Love always.
One thing I remind myself of, when I often get into the "regret" mode, is that I did the best I could at the time. It may sound simplified, but it's true. The choices we make at the time sound like a good idea at the time. Usually as we grow and learn, we know better later.
For me, finding ways to get in touch with the parts of myself that I tend to push away; the annoying characteristics that I tend to project on to other people...that's usually where the juice is! I do this through making time daily to sit in quiet and just listen to my inner voice, paying attention to my dreams, journaling, and most importantly, when I feel like "not dealing with something" in my life, to allow the feelings to come through. It is in the painful moments when the little voice inside of my being speaks up and asks to be heard. Other ways of accessing the shadow is through art and musical expressions and dream work. The key is to find what works for each one of us. Thanks so much for reading and asking about this important subject.
Thanks for the book suggestion. I'll definitely check it out. I also agree that anxiety may be more than that in adults. However, from the objection relation's view, I can see how a mother's agitation can create that state in the infant and inhibit the self-regulation skill building needed later in adult to deal with anxious states.
Thank you for such a detailed and personal comment. I like the way you've described your challenge of integrating your two sides. It seems to be a common theme for independent and successful women. It is almost as if we live two lives. Unfortunately, our culture is yet to recognize the power of the feminine. But I believe we as women hold up the status quo and mostly blame the men for it. In order to integrate the duality within, we need to make space for both in our daily lives. The feminine often attempts to become known via dreams and creativity, so perhaps it's about creating a daily ritual to bring that to life.
Using our bodies to tune in to feelings is a great way to build awareness. Thank you for reading and offering your experience and knowledge!
A depth psychological approach certainly asks us to "be" with our feelings, no matter how painful. You are correct in that the true path to transformation is only through acknowledgment of our inner darkness, no matter how frightening it may be.
True anxiety, as you have described above, can be quite overwhelming and there are times when medication is necessary to bring back a sense of stability. Sometimes the feelings are so intense that it's not realistic to process and deal with them at that moment. That's when meds are a necessary crutch to get the strength to deal with the real issues. It sounds to me that you have done things in exactly the way that was right for you. Thank you for reading and sharing your experience.
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Medley