So after I do all these tips - how long do I have to wait for a man to tell me I'm beautiful, which I'd never realized before but the saying of which causes my girlish ways to bloom into womanly desires? Because I'm taking the Grand Tour in like six months and I need to know if I should take the time for a rest cure at an alpine spa or just head straight on to Italy.

Gosh darn if there isn't a single poem that can't be improved by referencing Spoon River at the end (or, as I like to call it, tying it into the canon of the "River-verse")

Woah I made it onto a bulletin board! How were the readings interesting? Were DARK TRUTHS REVEALED AND OCCULT SPIRITS SUMMONED BY THE POWER OF THE CARDS?? Or were they like my first few readings, where no matter which cards anyone drew, they never seemed to have any relevance to anyone in that room or any human on earth in general? Or both?

As for your reading: I drew the reversed Ace of Pentacles
The reversed Ace of Pentacles is best understood via the well known gnostic symbolism presented in Walt Disney's Winnie the Pooh cartoons. Do you remember how Pooh always wanted to eat honey, and always wound up getting honey in the end, but always obtained the honey in ways that involved him getting *remarkably physically injured?* He'd get stung by bees, fall out of trees, get struck by lightening, get stuck in trees, get stuck in doors, get his hand stuck in jars - and as kids, we always thought that was somehow okay because hey, he never seemed to be bothered by it, and he ended up getting the honey so what's the harm? Only as adults can we take a step back and realize how utterly messed up the whole thing was. A situation where you're falling down a massive tree, hitting every branch and getting stung by bees the whole time, is a bad situation no matter how much sweet honey you get once you thump down on the ground. The reverse Ace of Pentacles speaks to the set of priorities that gets you into those situations in the first place. The reversed Ace of Pentacles taps you on the shoulder and points out that, like, you have a friend who is AN OWL who could maybe like, FLY to get the honey? Or maybe you could ask your friend who is a human to go to stores with you and get said honey? Or broker a peace treaty with the bees? The point is, just because you're getting what you want out of a situation doesn't mean that the ways you're getting it are healthy or that what you're gaining is worth the sacrifice to get it.

The reversed Ace of Pentacles is, however, silent on the wearing of red crop tops with no pants. You'll have to figure that one out on your own.

Hey! Good thing I had a crazy weekend that got in the way of my doing any readings, so I am going to get to you after all!

I drew: The Sun
The Sun is a very hopeful card. As one of the Major Arcana, it speaks to the events of a major life journey. The appearance of the Sun, in all his smiling glory, means that there is about to be a bright light shining down on all the dark and murky things in your life, and situations that have seemed too unclear to deal with are about to be thrust into sharp clarity. While this card is a card of hope, it can also be read as a double-edged sword. Sometimes dark and murky situations can hide truths about ourselves or our own complicity in their dark murkyness that, when revealed, can cause some serious existential crisis-ing. The hope the Sun bring is not that everything will be revealed to have worked out in your favor, necessarily, but the hope that once you know the truth of things you'll be armed with the information you need to move forward.

Sorry for the delay in response - the ~*~*~ mystic forces of the universe ~*~*~*~ made my weekend super busy, and I had no time for readings.

I drew: The reversed Ten of Wands
If you look up the art for the Ten of Wands, you'll see what looks like a medieval peasant just hoarding the crap out of ten really large sticks. Look how tightly he's hugging them! MY STICKS, he says. MINE. I HAVE TEN STICKS, THE MOST STICKS. Look at how he runs away towards the village in the distance. DON'T TOUCH MY STICKS, he says, GO AWAY MY STICKS MINE. God, screw that guy. I mean, yeah, maybe he's nobly carrying the burdens of the world, determined in his quest to finish his journey no matter how great the struggle. But between you and me? Dude's totally humble-bragging, all like OH MAN LOOK HOW HEAVY ALL MY STICKS ARE YOU DON'T HAVE ANY STICKS YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND HOW HEAVY IT IS TO HAVE SO MANY COOL STICKS. As I said, the worst. Flip him upside down though, and you can see him for who he is - just a big old jerk taking on burdens he doesn't need, just so he can show off about how many problems he has, despite being the person who took them on in the first place. Reversed Ten of Wands is reminding you to not be that guy. Take as many sticks as you feel comfortable with, but don't expect pity when you take more then you know you can hold.

Sorry for the delay in response! Crazy weekend = not that much tarot time. Personally I think the power of the tarot comes from the level of introspection and situational insight the cards allow you to achieve - which means that you can wind up with a bunch of draws that, over time, help illuminate one particular situation or one mutli-card draw which helps shed light on a bunch of minor problems. When I do readings in person I ask people to meditate on what they want from the reading while they shuffle the cards. The idea is that they'll be focused on what they want to know, and cards will structure themselves accordingly. Anyway, like most newagey type stuff, it's all about how you feel/want to view things. A satisfying answer, I know. And your tarot fact!

I drew: The reverse Nine of Pentacles
The Nine of Pentacles is a curious card, even by the weird standards of the Pentacles. The Pentacles deal with material things - work, finance, material possessions - and the Pentacle cards in the minor arcana explore how those things can be double-edged swords. Upright, the Nine of Pentacles speaks to a general sense of contentment, one that stems from feeling secure in one's surroundings. In reverse, that contentment is still there, but a creeping sense of doubt is nibbling away at the edges. This is the card that comes up when you wake up one day and realize that things which you've felt okay with for ages just feel *wrong* - when you sit down at your breakfast table and for the life of you can't make yourself feel like you've ever sat there before, the card for when you go into work and all of a sudden the lights are too bright and everyone's voice is harsh and you can't remember the button you push in the elevator that leads to your floor. It isn't a card of crisis, but it should come as no surprise that this is a card of deception. Traditionally, this card is read as a sign that someone is about to deceive *you*, but given the lack of other cards to provide context I'd be tempted to read this card as a sign that the lies you've been telling yourself to make certain things okay are becoming impossible to consciously maintain. Take this as a reminder of the necessity of being honest with yourself. Without owning up to the things which feel wrong, you have approximately zero chance of taking the steps you need to take to make things feel right.

Hey! Sorry for the delay in reading - this weekend got very crazy very fast. I drew: The reversed Page of Pentacles

My love for the court cards could not be more well documented, and the fact that I refer to the pages as "my dudes" in readings should give you some indication as to how I feel when they show up in a draw. Pages are the cards that bring news. Upright pages bring above and beyond good news, and upside down pages bring - yeah. Given the general good spirits of Page cards, hunkering down for catastrophe would be an overreaction - instead, I'd read this page as a reminder to do a quick double check of all the things in your life which might not be that secure, and to shore up your defenses accordingly. The pentacles are a suit that deals with work, business, and finance - maybe this would be a good time to review things in those three areas. At worst, you'll just put yourself in a stronger position in all three - which should show you how committed the Pages are to bringing good news and helping, that even their worst news works out for the best.

(Thank you for the advice - I tend to err on the side of 'lesbian folk rock from the 90's' in personal statements, so I'll watch for that. Your tarot fact is that the illustrator of the Rider Waite deck, Pamela Coleman Smith, spent much of her childhood in Jamaica, and wrote/illustrated multiple books for children about Jamaican folklore. Way to go, exposing children to other cultures, Pamela Coleman Smith!)

Is kabbalistic stuff important to understanding Tarot stuff? The only things I know about Kabbalah were the basics covered in Final Fantasy Seven, so - not knowledgeable. Glad the reading synced up, and HOLY COW CROWLEY.

You know a personality test is quality when it somehow manages to take Jung's theories and make them even LESS scientifically rigorous!

Replying just to point out that the latter half of your comment is a spot on analysis of some socialization issues regarding the whole introvert/extrovert thing.