Hey, I believe it!

I would argue that while some parents are busier than some childfree, there are many childfree who have just as many responsibilities as parents do. For example, I have noticed that many childfree people are tasked with the care of their elderly parents-- driving them to doctor's appointments, giving them medication, visiting them in the nursing home, maybe even paying for their care or moving them into their own homes-- while their siblings get off "scot-free" because "they have chiiiiiiildren and don't have tiiiiiiiime." Other childfree people may have chosen very consuming jobs, help out with their nieces/nephews/friend's children, or perhaps they volunteer after work. ANYONE who has an 80 hour workweek or spends their days off working at an animal shelter has just as much right to say "I'm a busy person" as a parent does.

I guess I just hate the notion that childfree people simply MUST have all this free time because they don't have kids. There are tons of SAHM's who spend all day on Facebook and yet complain they have no time or energy because they have a baby.

I agree Hallie!

Just to clarify, childless-by-choice people are called childfree. Out of respect for those who are infertile but wish to be parents, we leave them the term "childless" because it describes their feelings in a much more compassionate way. I myself am childfree because I do not want a child at all. Amy is childless because she did want and try for a child, but unfortunately wasn't able to have one.

Amy, I am terribly sorry you were not able to become a biological mother. I hope that you and your partner can find meaning and love in other ways, or perhaps adopt if you feel so inclined. I also hope you can look past the cruelty of those who look down upon you for something you can't control. I cannot imagine the sadness you must have felt and I wish you all the happiness in the world.

What a lovely person you are! Thank you for this truly wonderful post.

I am so sick of the "war" between parents and the childfree. It's true, those of us without children do not know what it’s like to love a child in the specific way a mother or father does. But…..there’s nothing wrong with that. While some of us dislike children, there are quite a few of us who love kids—we just don’t want to raise any of our own. We choose to live a lifestyle different than yours, not because we hate you, or look down upon you, but because we have no great longing for offspring and we have many goals we wish to achieve that would be sidelined by having children. This does not make us evil or selfish or heartless, unfeeling monsters; on the contrary, childfree people often have more time and resources to give to those in need than parents do, because we do not have the very real and very large expense of children weighing us down. Many childfree people are even the lifeboats for parents who fall on hard times or are irresponsible with their money and cannot afford to give their children everything they need. Parents would not have access to such generosity if everyone had their own kids to pay for. I think it’s a blessing that we are allowed to choose which path we take.
Parents: do not see us as the enemy. We may or may not want anything to do with your children, but that is our right as we were not the ones who had any say in their creation. For those of us like me, we are thrilled that you were able to realize your dream of having a baby, and we wish you all the best. We will be there to witness your child’s growth into adulthood and may even take an active, loving role in helping him or her get there. But do not offer us fake pity for not knowing “the love of a child like a parent does.” We don’t want it, we aren’t missing it, and we feel whole loving our friends, families, partners, pets, and ourselves. We too have families. They’re just smaller than yours.