lizardjellybean

112p

113 comments posted · 0 followers · following 0

9 years ago @ The Toast - How To Cast Jane E... · 0 replies · +27 points

Rachel Dratch is Jane Eyre forever. http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/jane...
I mean come on. Perfect. Make that face more.

9 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 1 reply · +6 points

My sister, a cellist, is INFURIATED by Pachelbel's Canon.

I routinely tell her I want her to play it at my wedding, just to watch the blood vessels pop in her forehead.

9 years ago @ The Toast - My Real-Time Response ... · 0 replies · +20 points

Spiny buttparts! THEY HAVE SPINY BUTTPARTS. LIKE SHARK MOUTHS ON THE OUTSIDE. I don't.

This is not what I thought a tuna looked like. My world is changed. Everything seems brighter.

10 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup · 0 replies · +5 points

That TAL episode is fantastic, and I am ALL about mountain climbing disasters ( This: https://www.etsy.com/listing/175599201/people-die... is prominently featured on the top of my list of things I would like to own).

BUT THE BEST THING.
THE BEST.
IS CHICKENS WITH PANTS.
Lookit that chicken and tell me it doesn't look like a fluffy member of ABBA. You go ahead and try.

10 years ago @ The Toast - This is an Essay About... · 0 replies · +68 points

I love this, this is beautiful and exactly what I needed to hear. (I am with a man now who makes me feel sexy and beautiful, and I am not thin. But dang I would like to feel that way on my own, you know? I appreciate him and care for him deeply, and I'm grateful for the perspective he's given me on my body, but I'm hoping I can keep it, regardless of what happens to us.)

Also, forever and eternally grateful for the comment moderating on the Toast. This article on any other website would have the most evil comments, and here I know we're safe.

10 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup · 3 replies · +6 points

I think the best we have, as far as that kind of Englishman, might be Sir Ranulph Fiennes (first cousin-once removed- to Voldemort!) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ranulph_Fiennes

10 years ago @ The Toast - All the Posts on Every... · 2 replies · +26 points

WHAT. I thought it meant like... you drank a lot of coffee and just pooped yourself til the baby wanted to come.

I guess... this is better? I guess? WHY, THOUGH. WHY. Are babies attracted to coffee smells?

10 years ago @ The Toast - The Mom Apotheosis · 0 replies · +34 points

My mom, as we're driving down the highway: "You see that building? We've never been there."

10 years ago @ The Toast - Songs From A Decemberi... · 0 replies · +175 points

16 Military Wives (Are Interviewed on the Today Show and Make Some Good Points, Actually)

10 years ago @ The Toast - Women Wearing Spectacu... · 0 replies · +35 points

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNkwhiMzZXM

I completely empathize. I'd say we should have a melon head club, but no one building could possibly fit us all. We would all get stuck together and our legs would dangle about beneath us, like a bunch of party balloons.

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