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16 years ago @ ipost | upost - You can call me Elmer&... · 1 reply · +1 points

Those are really only effective in the desert, where you can then remember your own name.

16 years ago @ ipost | upost - You can call me Elmer&... · 0 replies · +2 points

I'm actually partial to names that reflect the horse's true destiny, like, "Cosby's Favorite", or "Baby's New Gluestick".

16 years ago @ ipost | upost - Rip-Off Wednesday #11:... · 0 replies · +1 points

garfibulate

16 years ago @ ipost | upost - The City that Never Sw... · 0 replies · +1 points

Paris, France: The best place to wear a Canadian flag backpack patch outside of Asia.

16 years ago @ ipost | upost - The City that Never Sw... · 0 replies · +2 points

Las Vegas: Dude, I think that stripper is into you! No, dude, she wants it!

16 years ago @ ipost | upost - The City that Never Sw... · 0 replies · +1 points

Cambridge, MA: Leg hair, everywhere.

alternately

Cambridge, MA: White People Creating Bumper-Sticker Slogans Over an Avocado, since Forever

(I love Cambridge, for the record.)

16 years ago @ ipost | upost - The City that Never Sw... · 1 reply · +2 points

I've been to Vegas and it's more like: What happens in Vegas will forever echo disgust and melancholy on your wandering soul, hopefully not trapping you in its greasy, impoverished golden cl... OH SHIT A PLASTIC FOOTBALL FULL OF BEER? SIGN ME UP.

16 years ago @ ipost | upost - Mad Libs Mondays Sing ... · 1 reply · +2 points

"Besides,

They'll see how sweet I am

And be depressed "

Brilliant.

16 years ago @ ipost | upost - Mad Libs Mondays Sing ... · 0 replies · +1 points

I, too, sing Transcendentalism.

I am the squiggly brother.

They send me to forage in the kitchenette

When company comes,

But I scramble,

And forage stealthily,

And black-out deaf.

Tomorrow,

I'll be there

When company comes.

Nobody'll dare

Say to me,

forage in the kitchenette'

Then.

Besides,

They'll see how dank I am

And be embarassed

I, too, am Transcendentalism.

16 years ago @ ipost | upost - Rip-Off Wednesday #8: ... · 0 replies · +1 points

Criminal and sex offender record searches, particularly if it ignored a lot of the laws that make them so irritating to obtain. My job would be cake.

Also, if it could force feed me inspiration for new art, without coming up with the ideas for me. Sigh.

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