I feel the same way when I make some small, irreparable mistake. It was whole, and now it never will be again. Somehow it seems to speak to the central, universal sadness. (I mean, when you're in that headspace. When you're not, it's just a broken ipad. But I get it, is what I'm saying.) Sending comforting vibes your way!

Wait, so Sondheim didn't just write something vague and throw your letter away, he actually did contact the theater company???? It sounds like less to put in a good word and more to... put in a not good word, but that's still kind of incredible.

I posted a question about losing my religion (kind of) in last week's open thread, and then I wasn't around to reply, and now I'm late to this one! So hopefully some of the generous and wise commenters who responded will see this. The process of writing that out publicly showed me that it's been bothering me more than I really admit (I've never talked to anyone irl about it), and all the comments were incredibly helpful and thoughtful. I felt so lucky (blessed? jk, definitely not there yet) that so many people took the time to write such personal and kind responses, and I loved reading every one, and I'm sure I'll read them many more times.

All of the recommended books are on my wishlist at the library, and this Sunday I'm going to a different kind of church. I've decided that this is important enough to me to at least explore it in a more intentional way, and if nothing ever comes of it, the comments also made me feel better about living with that. So much thanks to everyone who commented!!

I do *exactly* this same thing, for probably the same reasons. One of my big things is interrupting someone who's telling a story to ask questions about details they're glossing over. I think/hope that I come across as really interested in the story (which is true!!) but, god, so annoying, I need to let people tell their own stories their own way! I think you're right that it's an introvert thing. Since I don't love telling my own stories, my favorite way to participate in a conversation is by being really engaged in what the other person is saying, and I can take it too far. No suggestions, just commiseration!

This is so true, whenever I get a friend request from someone I met a while ago, I always assume it was the "suggested friends" thing, and I assume they assume the same when I send late requests.

(The only time this doesn't work is if you don't have enough friends in common that Facebook would be able to figure out you might know each other. But regardless, I think so long as the person 1) will recognize your name and face, and 2) doesn't have any reason to want to burn you with fire, a facebook friend request isn't ever inappropriate, or seen as a big deal.)

This is weird, and almost certainly won't apply to your situation, but I'm excited about it so I'll tell you just in case: I always get the most anxious at night and it keeps me up. This week I've been staying at my parents house with a great backyard, and the weather's been great, so I started sleeping outside. Somehow, my nighttime anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and insomnia are wayyy better outside. And not spending half an hour every night with my worst thoughts really improves my days.

I know it's not practical for most people, but if you're in a situation where you could try it for a night I'd recommend it. I just bring an old mattress and comforter out on the patio.

It sounds like you're already doing a great job with self-care! I'm in the end of semester crunch too, and I keep telling myself, 'no matter what, it's over in a month.'

Religion question!! Do you think believing in God is a choice?

I've always been interested and involved in religion and I think a lot of it is beautiful, but I'm curious how other people make the jump from there to Feeling It Is True.

I go to church and I like it for the community, but the services have never had any deeper resonance for me. Sometimes when I'm upset I'll try praying, or telling myself that God loves me, and it just feels like I'm playacting.

My problem isn't that I'm trying to believe something I have serious moral or logical problems with. I've spent enough time in progressive churches and with progressive religious people that I can basically articulate a version of faith that I don't disagree with, I just don't believe it. I'm not talking about doubts really, it's not that I have faith sometimes, or in some ways; it's that I never have at all.

I'm pretty happy in my everyday life, but I sometimes feel like there's a hole in the center of everything that I'd like to fill with a higher purpose, or some core truth like the kind people get from church, but there's just nothing there. I'd rather live in a world with a higher power, I just feel like I don't.

Ultimately, if I just don't have the right kind of brain for this, I'd rather focus on the good I do see in the world than try to convince myself of something that isn't true for me; but I've just been thinking about this a lot recently, and wondering what the difference is between people who feel like me and people who get real comfort from their faith. Does everyone feel like it's out of their control, you either have it or you don't?

Yeah, I mean, I very very agree that this woman is deluded and awful, but as to her very narrow point that her parents shouldn't threaten to disown her if she doesn't break up with him, that's not ridiculous. Although, as the parents, it would be infuriating to watch this happen for 8 years. Maybe since those years of letting it happen didn't change anything, they just feel like they have to do *something*....

So so true. The idea of 'escalating interventions' that natural birth advocates talk about terrify me, like you can't get any pain relief without ending up strapped to the table for an unnecessary C-section. I have a lot of body horror around pregnancy and birth, which is mostly just my own issues, but it really seems to me like a lot of natural childbirth conversations say they're empowering women, when they're really just making them scared of different things.

YES! I've read some Skeptical OB stuff in the past, and it seems like a lot of her arguments about problems with the natural childbirth movement are great. BUT she won't acknowledge the real problems with the medical system that scare people and make them want an alternative, to the point where she kind of loses credibility, to me.