That would be a travesty. Although we're engaged in a mythic time period, the 300 was based on an actual battle, even though the film left out the most important aspect, which was a sea battle that occurred at the same time (or close...don't feel like googling the exact sequence of events). Why do we need to remake the exact same movie? Gerard Butler died wonderfully; anything to bring him back would just lessen the impact of the 300. Even a prequel would not have the emotional impact. We saw the most important battle of his life. Now leave it the hell alone! Damn Hollywood...
My spell would be Potterus Noninterruptus, which would prevent distribution companies from delaying the release of Muggly popular boy wizard films for eight friggin' months, reanimate Richard Harris, the real Professor Dumbledore, and prevent Daniel Radliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint from appearing as old as the cast of Friends in The Deathly Hallows, due to be released as a celebration of the introduction of clean, renewal fusion energy in the early 22nd century.
I agree with all. I was so excited about the new movie, and getting to see it at the preview was awesome (thank you gordon and the whale!). Unfortunately, I came out of it with the realization that I have seen all of Michael Bay's tricks, and they're becoming boring. Why does the camera have to be moving every frickin' second of a Bay movie? If it's motivated, great! If not, then do some OTS and reaction stuff, meaningful inserts. And yes, I understand it's an action movie. It's not Rear Window, for godsakes. Still, if I'd seen one more 360 camera dolly shot I think I would have puked, from seasickness if not from the lack of originality the shot now entails. I think the best think Mr. Bay could do right now would be watch a few classic movies and direct something so against his action movie boner that he could get a fresh perspective on the art form. Still, I'll probably see the movie again, for nothing else than Megan Fox on the motorcycle. Wow. Again I'll say...Wow...
Thanks! I can't believe more guys weren't thinking about a female Transformer...
But can they sing? That's the thing that bugs me about half of the rock biopics. If you can't find an actor that can sing, why do it? I still have a hard time watching My Fair Lady after finding out a couple years ago that they didn't let Audrey Hepburn sing her own songs; they hired the same woman who voiced-over the lead characters in The King and I and West Side Story for Deborah Kerr and Natalie Wood. Did Evan Rachel Wood sing in Across the Universe? It didn't feel like it, but I didn't want to hate the movie so I wasn't sure. The vocals in Chicago weren't perfect, but they were good, and I respected the fact that they found famous actors who could sing, dance, and act. You wouldn't go to a brain surgeon for a heart problem; why go to a dramatic actor for a musical?
My perfect Transformer would be Fembot Prime, a hot red Ferrari 430 Modena that motors up from 0-60 in 3.5 seconds and has a 1980s Kathleen Turner growl for a voice. Man, the bumpers on this "bot" would make any Transformer sweat oil, and her tailpipes are to die for. Weaponry? Get this. Twin M240 standard issue machine gun turrets, red ruby eye lasers, and a scaled-down nuclear explosive that she only will use five days out of the month, but when she does...? Duck! But never turn the radio to the country stations; Taylor Swift's "A Love Song" will instantaneously take her from a street smart speed machine to a "I drive 55" slowpoke. The best ride experience is to put in Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl" CD and watch the attitude as she rocks up to 150 on the Autobahn, or in west Texas, where she'll blow past any state trooper so fast that she'll suck the 1/4" sugar coating off his Krispy Kremes.
I think the perfect place to live would be the area of Alabama where "Big Fish" took place. Beautiful, verdant forests and fields that make your feet itch to crunch through fallen leaves, and quirky inhabitants to make even the most boring day an adventure. Plus, the producers for Big Fish also brought Sam Mendes American Beauty, and since he's the director of Away We Go...it all feels right somehow...
I know this is tacky, but I would cast a curse on my cheating ex-wife that any guy she slept with would immediately suffer a 6" penis size loss. Dungeons and Dragons meets freezing cold swimming pool. And, like Forest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that."
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