Surely Captain Falcon would win no matter what? Even if it wasn't a contest and it was more like the Osbournes or something, he would win.
Probably. We don't need a son specifically, just another body to use the Falcon Punch. Besides the Captain himself, that would be Kirby.
Holy hell in a handcart this is sweet.
While this religion is awesome, it's distracted people, so they're paying even LESS attention to Weegee! Surely the Captain will shine his divine countenance upon the lesser brother, and PAWNCH the impostor Mario who steals Weegee's well-deserved fame?