I'm so sorry about your father. And yes so much to #1. My mom (she was my only living parent) died on valentine's day this year and for a while, people asked me if there was something they could do, as if I'd ever know. I wish they would have been more specific. Now everyone mostly pretends nothing happened unless I bring it up, which is a little unnerving since it's only been two months, but I know it's because this is just such an awkward thing for them.