It's been a pleasure to come to this place for the past 2 years. I use Toast phrases in daily convo ("kill all men," "always the option of taking to the sea," "a willing foe and sea room," "life is a rich tapestry").

Just gonna go silently weep in a corner:

fair enough. Thanks for replying.

a few things:

a. I kinda, sorta agree with you about the trigger warning. It might have prevented one of my coworkers from seeing me wipe tears away at 8 in the morning. At the same time, the more people read this letter, the more people will be aware of the hell some transgender kids go through, and may prompt some actual results from people who sometimes turn away from transgender causes.

b. Leelah wrote beautifully, exhaustively, and precisely about why she was ending her life. While speculation is obviously allowed, it seems particularly gauche to do so when Leelah made it very clear that she was doing so both to end her own suffering and to further the cause of transgender rights.

c. I highly doubt that transgender kids, or other possibly-suicidal kids, will be inspired by Leelah's act. I highly doubt that transgender kids who are living in un-supportive environments would need Leelah's example to contemplate or commit suicide. It seems to me to be an argument for looking away, for ignoring the plight of these kids.

d. I think we should take her at her word and follow her expressed wishes to love and support transgedered persons at every age, in every space.

Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes

I realized recently that I no longer double-check to see what it is AHP is writing about. I will simply read anything she deigns to publish.

http://www.xojane.com/issues/i-assigned-that-yoga...

I see what you did there

So, I know I'm a dude, and a guest here, which is why I never do this, but Rebecca Carroll is kinda awful. She's responsible for the xojane "black person in yoga made me feel racist" story (http://www.xojane.com/it-happened-to-me/it-happened-to-me-there-are-no-black-people-in-my-yoga-classes-and-im-uncomfortable-with-it) and once suggested that white men adopted daughters from other races because they secretly lusted after them.

I'm saying that there may be other reasons why she is leaving writing professionally behind.

RACHEL KAADZI GHANSAH DA GAWD

I don't think that is the takeaway of the essay. I think the essay very deftly showed that the risk inherent in any sort of do-gooding is that you will simply sustain a system which is in need of more radical or transformative change. In the case of the foster care system, her advocacy work likely helped "Matthew" a great deal , but it also allowed for the continuation of a system which is designed to negate his ability to become a fully-developed member of society. The system depends on the vagaries of state funding and the fickle emotions of helpers and the changing timelines of women like Daum, who most likely would have either quit or cut back her advocacy work had her own pregnancy not ended.

I don't believe that the essay makes an argument for the abnegation of service or social work, but rather for the clear-eyed, sometimes-unrewarding, often-futile nature of it. I think it says that to help someone will be thankless, expensive, emotionally-draining work, and to do it still, in the face of that, is defiantly good.

What I took an issue with though is the juxtaposition of her own indecisive feelings around having children and her child-related advocacy work. I found it somewhat exploitative of the stories of the children she interacted with, that they were used as means to clarify or rationalize her own reproductive decisions
.