Oooh, Jim Dale. Back when the books were first coming out, I read the first three books, enjoyed them, and got them on cassette. Yes, CASSETTE. :)

During a long roadtrip to Florida with my parents, I convinced them to give SORCERER'S (*cough* Philosopher's *cough*) STONE a chance. If they weren't interested after the first tape, we'd just go back to our usual scanning the local radio stations.

Several hours later, we get to the point where Harry discovers whoever is after the Stone, and as soon as the chapter ends, my dad stops the tape player. "It's about time we stop for supper," he says, "And if we keep listening I'm just going to sit in the car and keep listening to this instead of eating."

The whole "people want to feel special" thing just doesn't quite work for me. Don't get me wrong, I love hearing that I am special or super-attractive, or whatever, but if I don't hear that, if I just get the "you're an available warm body, let's fuck," I don't have any problem with that. I'm quite willing to satisfy.

Of course, my mind seems to work at strange angles, so it's probably just me.

I have a friend who's a lesbian. I had a huge crush on her in high school, and she was even my prom date, but beyond one kiss in the limo on the way back I didn't make any headway (she didn't tell me she was a lesbian until several months later; I was pissed off at her keeping that from me at the time, but nowadays I can understand it better).

About 10 years after high school or so, we got back together and caught up on old times; she'd been out of the country and this was the first time we'd seen each other in a few years. This was just before my birthday, and she would be leaving the country again soon, so she said she wanted to give me an "early present." She got topless and let me play with her breasts for a while. It was very explicitly for my birthday only, and would probably never be repeated again, even on future visits near my birthday (so far it hasn't).

It's one of my most pleasant memories, so I do have some experience with the concept of "for someone's birthday, you do something sexual with/for them you wouldn't normally do." Of course, there's a big gap between that person asking/demanding it of you, and you offering it of your own volition; and there's a gap the size of the Grand Canyon between someone asking and accepting a no, and continuing to push for it after a clear no has been established.

I'm a bi/pan guy, and I do tend to end up becoming attracted to my friends; not counting anyone that I deliberately seek out in the hopes of romance and sex, just someone I bond with over mutual interests, I still usually fall for them anyway. (I'm poly, so cheating is not a problem on my end)

Fortunately, this hasn't really caused too many problems; either we progress to the stage where screwing is a mutual interest, or they say "thanks but no thanks" and we go back to the way we were. It hasn't ended any friendships, they seem to be flattered, and I've gotten several replies along the lines of "if you were my preferred gender, I'd be all over you," which is always nice to hear.

Hm. True, I suppose I was reading something into his advice that probably wasn't there.

Not sure I'm seeing the concern-trollness here, but then the way I view things tends to be perpendicular to how most other people do, so I probably did say something that came off as worse than intended.

(I'm not fully out because the way I see it, the only people that need to know are friends, family, and potential relationship partners. My co-workers don't need to know because I'm there to work, not talk about non-work stuff; I'm the introvert who, if I'm not having to do anything work-related at the moment, is reading or browsing the Net and staying quiet)

I'm not saying it's specifically "up" to LW2 to change his area, and if it came across like that, I apologize.

I'm just saying, if everyone LGBT flees the "bad areas," then how will they ever become "good areas?"

(Full disclosure, I live in a reasonably "bad area"; if I fully came out, I probably wouldn't get beat up, but I probably would be shunned socially and at work)

I'm not sure I agree with some of the Doc's advice to LW2. If LGBT people are supposed to flee non-LGBT-friendly areas, then how are those areas ever supposed to BECOME LGBT-friendly?

Thank you! I do my best, and try to make up for my self-admitted lack of empathy; the sympathy, of which I have plenty, has to do the heavy lifting (I may not be able to comprehend why someone doesn't want something, but I can tell they don't want it, and I don't want to hurt them by making them take it).

You think my idea above about getting a shirt would do a good job letting people know how I want to be treated, without giving them the idea it's OK to treat *everyone* that way?

Thank you! Like I said, I have the fantasy world I want to live in, but I'm not in that world and I don't act like it. Whatever my personal fantasies and desires are, they certainly don't outweigh everyone else's, so I keep my behavior in line unless it's with someone who's explicitly consented to it, or I'm at a place where it's explicitly allowed.

"I think you're probably in a very small minority there."

Almost certainly, which is why I don't engage in any of this kind of behavior I myself would love having done to me. Heck, even if it was the other way around--if people like me were in the vast majority and people who didn't want that kind of stuff were the very small minority--I still wouldn't do it, because I know with my luck I'd try it on someone who didn't want it, and that would be wrong.

Hmm, now that's an idea. It does remove the truly random, unexpectedness I'd like, but hey, half a fantasy's better than nothing, right? :)

(I should get that shirt that says GROPE ME, maybe with some smaller text along the lines of I REALLY MEAN IT, NOT A JOKE, I WON'T CALL THE COPS, etc.)