I don't necessarily have good advice, but merely wish to acknowledge you and share that I have felt something like what you seem to be feeling. I tried the online dating thing with women last year, which was ok but nothing really came of it. Especially if you go the online dating route, it's easy to be relatively upfront about these things and let people filter themselves out.
I know there's a *thing* about straight girls leading on queer girls, and I don't deny that it's frustrating and really terrible for anyone to intentionally lead someone on. However, isn't dating essentially experimenting with another person's feeling, straight or otherwise? I don't mean to sound flippant, but it doesn't necessarily hurt to go on a few low-pressure dates. If you decide it's not for you, no harm, it was just a couple dates.
I hope someone with better advice than me is still around for OT, cause I'd like to hear someone else's take, too! (also, I FEEL YOU about being raised conservatively and having a lot of mixed-up feelings about sex & sexuality. uhg.).
This was lovely. I don't know if I've gone Full Atheist yet, but your second-to-last paragraph was beautiful and describes a lot of the feelings I have about my belief in a god-type force. Also, that paragraph totally reminded me of the part in Harry Potter when Dumbledore says "Of course it's happening in your head, but why should that mean that it isn't real?"
Thank you Emily!
Well, I've done a big move a couple of times (one of which was a move "back", and there's nothing wrong with that if you end up doing the same!).
Honestly, It took about a year to really feel like I had a few good friends in my new town. Making friends is definitely hard, but when I would go to meetups or Toast gatherings or something similar, I'd just tell people, "Hey! I'm new and came here today to make friends!" It feels weird to say, but it let people know I'm "available" for friendship, and made me feel like I was putting positive energy out there, even if I didn't actually ask people to hang out.
Regarding not feeling like you've made a mistake...as tough as it is, I think just reminding yourself that this experience, the new job, whatever it is that brought you there, it's not a wasted experience. Even if you move back.
Aahaha! Every time I see someone I know on okc I immediately log out, shut down my computer and run far away from the internet.
At least you have confirmation that your best friend is a good person for you. :)
Uh, not dating, but I need advice about dealing with being attracted to a new friend! We've had some very date-like hangouts and I get the vibe that he's also attracted to me bit OH MY GOD HOW DO I LET HIM KNOW!? I'm so terrible/inexperienced at this. it's extra confusing because this comes after a year long stint of realizing I'm bisexual and trying so hard to okc with ladies. So I've forgotten that real-life dating is not as explicit as internet dating, where we are both clearly assessing if the other is date-worthy or not.
I wrote a lot as a 10-13 year old, but my most embarrassing creative writing probably happened when I was a freshman in college, i.e. old enough to know I'm not a creative writing genius. I wrote some truly horrendous poetry about a friendship that was falling apart (I may also have had a crush on her...that part is still confusing for me?). Also, one of my freshman English classes had a creative writing assignment, and a wrote a short story about a family on vacation, with lots of thinly veiled SYMBOLISM about the color of their clothes as it related to the color of the local people's clothes. It was actually the same friend I wrote the poetry about who called me out on my terrible extended metaphor. I DIED of embarrassment.
Are you my junior high BFF??! My BFF and I developed a weirdly elaborate neighborhood mythology involving witches and cats and magical rituals. We also wrote EXTENSIVELY, mostly historical fiction though. Sadly, I destroyed most of it in high school, but a few stories escaped the destruction and I ferried them out of my parents' house a few years ago for fear that they might find and read them while cleaning out my childhood bedroom.
My proudest moment was probably one Halloween when I was dressed as Wednesday Addams. Literally only my hands and head were uncovered, and some dude at the bar felt it necessary to say, "Well that's not slutty at all." To which I responded in my most Wednesday Addams-est deadpan: "I don't do that." -_- He muttered something about "that's not what I meant...." but I was too busy returning to my seat with a beer.
(not that there's anything wrong with slutty costumes per se, it's just so not my thing)
Ugh, I've been contemplating re-opening my account again. I blame Pride Month / binging OITNB. Somebody talk me out of it!! (or into it, longer summer days = more time to devote to my OKC hobby, right?)
I just youtubed Point of Grace and I'm AMAZED at how well I remember them. I was far too Catholic for Christian music, but my bff in the late 90s let me borrow her CDs and I played them non. stop.
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