IntenseDebate - RabbitIsland

9 years ago @ The Toast - An Open Thread, and Se... · 0 replies · +9 points

Ha! I've been to that rest stop many times! I will have to find that graffiti next time I stop

9 years ago @ The Toast - The Final Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +4 points

My stomach actually dropped when I read "final link round up"

I've never been this sad about a site closing!
I am so bummed!!

:( :(

At least it's slow so I can take all day to sift through the comments and maybe try to figure out toast slack.

9 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +5 points

This just made my day

9 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +9 points

Yeah very good rule of thumb, I try to give people two dates if they seem pleasant but it's not a hard and fast rule by any means.

"Just being nice enough and not doing anything BAD is not enough to earn more of my time."
- SO TRUE

Toastie twitter sounds great! I need to start adding everyone :)

9 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +11 points

Oh hello! It me!

Yup yup yup, I always self censor and get way too concerned about how I sound, which is so silly. But it's a hard habit to break!

Yes! Keep on repeating that mantra, I will as well. Glad to see I'm not the only one who thinks this way

9 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 4 replies · +27 points

Well damn, what am I going to do without this site?

Everyone came in with such SANE and REASONABLE advice! Such a breath of fresh air.

I am sometimes a bit cautious when it comes to situations like these so it's nice to have a bounce board.
Internet dating is so weird that I can have a hard time parsing what is totally normal, and I tend to spend too much time worrying about how other people "feel" (working on that!)

I should clarify as well, I had a perfectly nice time while in person, good conversation and all. It was more the responses I started getting as the date ended and afterwards that made me go "hmm"

When you don't really know someone that well everything could seem like a red flag, but at the same time maybe just don't be creepy? It's not that hard dudes.
I would definitely give him the benefit of the doubt and say he may not realize how he comes across but at the same time I have no interest in teaching someone how to act.

I feel better about my firm refusal, thanks all!!

Whether or not we meet in a normal setting is TBD. For now, I'm just "boy bye"* and I'll see how he responds from there.

*and by "boy bye" I mean a much nicer "thanks but no thank you!" ha

9 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 2 replies · +16 points

Right! It's so hard to strike a tone via text message when you don't know someone!
Everything either sounds too meek or too aggressive in my head.

You're totally right though, and I like the way you phrased that response as well

9 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 31 replies · +14 points

So, I went on a tinder date last week with a nice enough dude a bit nerdy (which is fine by me)
I was getting some odd vibes though and when we ended the date he did that thing I hate where someone jokes about "you know if I were that person I would say we should go back to my place now...."

Either own it and ask straightforward or don't, making it a joke just feels evasive to me.
Regardless I wasn't looking for an immediate hook up so I pleasantly shrugged that off and went home.

We planned to meet up again this week which I was game for. But when I asked where to meet he asked to meet at his place. I demurred and said "or we could go to a restaurant!" which led to almost a full day of radio silence. his response today saying "We could! But I like to be hospitable :) "

Now, having met this guy in person for only a few hours it's impossible for me to tell whether he's just a bit pushy or what. But I'm personally not crazy about going over to someones house immediately, especially when they're internet strangers.

My question for you oh wise ones:

Am I being totally unreasonable by not wanting to go to someones house immediately?
Is there a way I could politely push back again without coming off as a total bore?
And various permutations of the above question.

Ahh online dating, amiright?

9 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 32 replies · +13 points

OT but I have a really UNimportant online dating question I'd love to throw at toasties...I'll put it in the reply so I don't come off as rambling.

9 years ago @ The Toast - Dear Businesslady: Adv... · 0 replies · +10 points

"I don’t know if anyone’s truly adept in challenging themselves, but it’s especially difficult when you’re an anxious person, someone who hates the thought of letting people down or breaking well-established rules."

This this this, working on it!

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