Portuguese Flannel Sheets: Made in Portugal! So soft! No pilling even after five years! I'm a super hot sleeper and we have a memory foam mattress that sleeps a bit warm so sometimes they're a leeettle too much for me on warm spring or fall nights, but they're Sr Negroni's favorites. They're seriously great sheets with lasting power like whoa.

Percale Sheet Set: I love cool, crisp "grandma sheets" in the summer which means I needed percale. I sleep super hot and these keep me cool. I bought these when I couldn't pull the trigger on percale grandma sheets that were like $90 for each piece. No regrets. They wrinkle but that's what percale does. These are my ride or die sheets. Made in Pakistan.

All Season Cotton Thermal Blanket: My platonic ideal blanket --the blankets my grandmother put on my bed as a child-- were cotton waffle/thermal weave blankets that somehow made it home from the hospital where she worked probably in the 60's or 70's. I looked EVERYWHERE to find originals or reproductions but no luck. I can't say these are an exact reproduction, but they're good blankets if you want a year-round blanket in a natural fiber and like the way waffle weave breathes. They do snag a bit which is typical for cotton thermal weave, and they'll probably become a bit shabby in a few years (fine for us, but I wouldn't put them out for company) but they're well made and affordably priced. Unfortunately they are made in China and when it comes time to replace them I'll consider repurchasing them only if I can't find anything better.

Down-Alternative Duvet: I think this was my biggest pleasant surprise. I didn't want to splash out too much on duvets because filled duvets and comforters tend to lose their loft and get lumpy pretty quickly especially when I have them because I am A Fat and also a serial duvet mangler. So as much as I prefer to buy investment pieces, I just didn't want to spend $300 on a duvet I'd have to replace in a year. I picked up two of these in the queen size so the fella and I wouldn't have to share, but it's so large that just one covers our king bed perfectly. It's warm in the winter and cool in the summer but most miraculously, it is just as fluffy as when I bought it five years ago with NO lumps. It IS made in China and that's obviously not ideal, but between the two of them (I haven't even opened the second one yet) I'm sure we'll get 15 years out of them, so I'm going to count that as a partial win since it means I don't have to buy from them again for another decade.

Japanese Organic Buckwheat Pillows (w/ cases) Hearteyes forever. I have a chronic pain disease and I'll NEVER got back to regular pillows. I was worried about adjusting to small pillows but I shouldn't have. Also you can keep them in the freezer if you're in for a hot night and they stay cold for a good long while.

Oversize Body Pillow/Pregnancy Pillow: This body pillow does not play and I've turned multiple non-pregnant toasties onto it who love it, too. I bought a maternity pillow for another plus-size friend who could use a little breast/belly/thigh support while sleeping and she loooved it but it collapsed and got kinda wonky after a year, so I did a ton of research to find one that would stand up to my size and abuse. It's filled -I think- with chunks of memory foam instead of fiberfill and has kept its shape really well and has seriously helped my chronic pain. Also, without veering into TMI territory, it has brought *a lot* of joy into our non-sleeping bed activity as well.

I'm not linking to the knee wedge last because I'm kinda meh about it and don't use it that often, and I think I would've been better off finding a wedge that worked for back or knees, but if you'd like a rec I'd be glad to dig it up for you!

Oh, I feel your pain, boy do I feel it. Unfortunately I'm just not confident the thing you want: well made, organic, first-world ethically made bedding exists at a price point you're looking for (not counting unless you want to go second hand and are still willing to invest several hundred dollars. I think in this case it's probably going to have to be enough to just Do The Best You Can.

I finally bit the bullet a few years ago with the same intent you did and replaced all my bedding. I did MONTHS of research. Really, I started researching around August and ended up buying in November. The total price for two sets of sheets, two specialty pillows (a body roll and a wedge) four buckwheat pillows and pillowcases, two cotton blankets and two down-alternative duvets was almost exactly $400.

It was painful at the time but five years out I have NO regrets and am now a strident believer in "spend your money where you spend your time."

Here's what I've bought. Everything here has stood the test of time for 5 years and is pretty much like new. The blankets and pillows get daily use and I'll probably have to replace the blankets in another few years. But I have faith that everything else will last well past the 10 year mark. (continued in next comment)

HERE FOR IT. Also I am (mostly) Welsh and have a (possibly) magical enormous blind dog named Cavall* who came to me as a puppy under Mysterious Circumstances and guards me with his life, so...maybe I am also the Pendragon? But a fat woman in her 30s?

*I think they spelled it Cafall in the books, but Cavall is the preferred Welsh spelling. It's pronounced the same way (KAHvfath) though.

I mean, in my head I ~know~ you weren't raised by the world's most perfectest fluffiest giantest black dogs, buuuuuut...

No Fatties

Señor Negroni has now gotten to the point where he's figured out any time I ask him "do you know who wrote this song?" the answer will ALWAYS be Willie Nelson.

I ALSO hate a song that has my name in it, and it's a much less common name so I get asked about it All. The. Time.

It looks like Robert Duvall to me. Is your dad currently Robert Duvall?

Now you do! I got a demerit each time I forgot to say sir or ma'am.

When I met Señor Negroni's mother, Doña Pera who is a tiny magic Guatemalan pixie who is indigenous Maya and maaaaybe 4"10" with good posture, the first thing she did was grab me and hug me like I was her long lost daughter. The second thing she did was marvel at my height (6'3" in heels) and ask me to pick her up. She was not joking.