56 comments posted · 3 followers · following 3
In my youth I would imitate a profound speech impediment (a splisp - half stutter, half lisp) or fake a foreign accent to avoid talking to others.
These days, I have an app on my phone that lets me fake a call by having the phone ring and displays one of my contacts as the caller.
If that can't buy me an exit, then I go for an Oscar and fake an emotional response: I go glassy eyed & stare off into space for a bit, sigh deeply and mournfully, and then ask them if they wouldn't mind if I stepped out for a bit. Most people are too considerate to say no. (In the event that tears are needed, I like to remind myself that everyone I love will eventually die.)
I'm a high school teacher, but when people ask I reply that I am a forensic anthropologist who specialises in embryos. "I poke your babies until they do what I want."
Now I want Guillermo del Toro to direct a Rufallo Hulk movie.
Season 5/The Movie can't come out fast enough though. </frustrated-impotent-fanboy-whinge>
I realised my mistake when a hand dropped on my shoulder while I was at the bar and it was David Hasselhoff trying to get passed me. I stepped aside to another con goer to freak out only to be face to face (or chin to eyes with) Eliza Dushku. Turns out the party was just for the 40 of with us with fancy bastard tickets and all the celebrity guests.
Highlights of that night included chatting over cocktails with Alex Kingston (who is the most amazing woman I have ever met), and bumming a smoke off Tonks which Atreyu (FALCOR!) then lit.
After 5 minutes speaking with Alex (ohmygod thisisriversong you'retotallytalkingtoMrstheDoctor) I got so nervous I had to run to the toilets and vomit. Not my finest hour, but certainly my favourite night involving celebrities.
I'm not sure if I should perform an act of penance now or wait until instructed.
Suggestions for acts of penance anybody?