...You DO realize this isn't the first time she's had a crush, right? At least she knows something about this guy. She knew absolutely nothing about Blueblood.
Besides, you are taking this way, way too seriously.
...There are so many things wrong with this comment, I can't even...
She was turning and trying to make sure Pinkie was OK, and thought she was ok, due to Pinkie hiding her feelings. If she realized Pinkie DID get hurt by her comment, like she did at the end, then she would have apologized earlier, like she did when she actually found out what she did.
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We saw the party at the end. Besides, even if it wasn't the point of the episode, it was still mostly the point in their eyes, as it's why they were getting so upset in the first place. Pinkie got upset because she wanted to throw Dash's party, Cheese got upset because she didn't get to throw the party and was going to leave, and Dash was upset because Pinkie was going to leave because of the party. Even if it was a plot device, it clearly mattered A LOT to THEM. After all, it's the reason Pinkie was so determined to beat Cheese in the first place.
What about Rainbow? She even said "No Offense" to Pinkie to make sure she WASN'T hurt, but Pinkie was actively trying to hide her feelings, so of course they wouldn't know. What Twilight said to Pinkie also shows they were expecting Pinkie to HELP Cheese Sandwich throw the party.
Oh, and another thing, they DIDN'T ditch her, you are SERIOUSLY blowing this out of proportion. First of all, you mischaracterized Rainbow, who isn't THAT bad, and she was even the FIRST to realize Pinkie was there. Rainbow even tried to make sure Pinkie's feelings WEREN'T hurt after she praised Cheese, but Pinkie was actively trying to hide her feelings, so of course Rainbow wouldn't know. Twilight ALSO came to Pinkie, and said she was expecting Pinkie to HELP Cheese Sandwich plan the party, meaning they DIDN'T forget her, and they wanted her to help. I'm not sure we watched the same episode, not only did you complain about something that is no different then they always did, not to mention those complaints overall made no sense, for reasons I stated below, but you complained about something that is BLANTANTLY untrue "It's as if it doesn't occur to her closest friends that Pinkie has feelings at all", which I already pointed out the massive flaws with this complaint.
How does it make no sense? Derpy wanted chocolate, so she got chocolate. It's not nonsensicle for somepony to greedily want chocolate.
Besides, how is this ANY worse than:
*Appearing in a snowglobe (A Friend in Deed, S2)
*Appearing in a chicken coop (May the Best Pet Win, S2)
*Derpy being in a fucking well (Secret of My Excess, S2)
Also, I've seen people who literally had NO idea who Derpy was, DIDN'T notice her, and had NO change in enjoyment, even after it was pointed out.
She was humiliating Luna even after she saved Pips life and had finally gotten accepted by Ponyville.
In Too Many Pinkie Pies, she realizes what damage she caused, showed intense remourse for causing it, which she did because she wanted to be WITH HER FRIENDS, so much that she thought somepony like her, who caused so much harm, couldn't be the real Pinkie. In Wonderbolts Academy, she was paranoid of Rainbow forgetting her, or just overall leaving her, which she HAS shown before (Party of One, where she went insane because she thought nopony wanted to go to a second party in a row, and Green isn't Your Color, where she thought a broken promise that would actually help things would ruin a friendship forever). In Magical Mystery Cure, it turns out she manages to keep Ponyville happy all the time.
Yeah, she was totally out of character in Season 3.
Trixie has the benefit of being a ham who was mostly doing her job, even if she was being an ass about it. Diamond Tiara has no reason to be a bitch, and has done worse things than Non-Alicorn Amulet Trixie (Even then, Trixie wasn't herself, and actually apologized).
It wasn't like her friends were trying to leave her out. Twilight's comment to Pinkie show they expected her to help Cheese plan the party, and Rainbow even made sure she wasn't offending her. They didn't know she was getting upset because she was actively trying to hide it.