Piracy is not theft. They are not synonymous. Is there not an aspect of bad faith to this? A person may never buy or intend to buy a certain movie or song, but enjoy it for free through piracy. Is enjoyment something that demands payment? I think the problem is getting convoluted. I think artists could be better compensated and appreciated, but I would also rather not deem something a crime when the loss cannot accurately be estimated.

Dude, you're the one potentially naming your son a name that is even more marked than Bastian. It's a syllable longer. SAbastian. Oh yes, but surely it is the more practical and sensible of the two. Despite the fact that one lives inside of the other, they are completely different.

...Bastian is one of my potential names for a son. It is an excellent name. No one would make fun of him . . .

...tion?

You are right on the money. Just wasn't sure how to express it eloquently. You and Princess Lala (on the money money money) and Rumpofsteelskin (someone likes my art! what!). Okay, you guys have to stop now. I can't be this gleeful. It will offend the gods.

I am reminded of that scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, where he makes that leap of faith onto a path that he cannot see. Accepting yourself regardless of what you believe others might think, or do think, feels like that jump.

I was thinking that we were similar, eerily. If only people saw us the way we express ourselves in words, in the real world. Then we would be as queens through a sea of swine. Just kidding about the swine.

Very true. Thanks for being the stable off which I bounce my crazy.

Letting go? Being still? But -- TIME! It is. Oh my god. That's another second gone. :)

Keep us posted, yeah?

Okay, no one cares, but whatever. Remember that guy who rejected me? Let's call him Dick. As soon as I stopped giving a fuck, it's like he desperately wants the attention back. During my lunch, which was ten minutes after his shift ended (I kind of made sure because I didn't want to encounter him) he walks all the way around the building back to the lunch room, and just fucking sits there watching me for thirty minutes. I am not joking. He then leaves, AND THEN COMES BACK, as if giving me one more chance to speak to him. Nuh uh. Been there done that, you were a jerk. It's like he's shy, but that's what I assumed before, and I was wrong. What the hell? Honestly, we're a match made in heaven, because lord knows I am just as weird, but I have my dignity.

I got to talking to this girl from work, and it made me realize how weird and quiet I am, how sad, and how little faith I have in my own abilities or worth. We've been working there the same about of time but she knows everyone, they text her and stuff, and I know no one. I am so anti social, it practically oozes from my pores like a noxious fume. Talking to people makes me feel wonderful about myself, like I could walk on clouds. A cab driver this week told me I was beautiful, the day after Dick didn't immediately open his arms to me like I wanted. I suppose it was rash and I jumped the gun, just straight asking someone if they were flirting with me. That's probably not a thing that is done. But talk? To boys? Impossible!
So we're all working tomorrow. The girl, Dick, me, and my other crush, who she said she was going to make me actually talk to. Ha. She is completely confident in my ability to charm him. It's infectious. I doubt, but we'll see.

It's so weird. She actually has ambitions, she believes in living life to the fullest. I asked her what the point of anything was, since all is leveled to ash and dust by the limitless expanse that is time (that's not melodramatic). This didn't seem to get her down in the slightest. She is two years younger than me. Argh. What I really hate the most is seeing my own true reflection. In my head, by myself, I have a grander image, my thoughts go unchallenged. I wallow. When I actually speak these things aloud, they immediately are deconstructed and turned on their head by other people. I used to pride myself on my intellect, as a teenager, but I do not even have that illusory identity anymore. But I think it's a good start, wondering where I am, so maybe I can figure out where I need to be and how to get there.