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Or Douchebag Shawn.
"WHAT, THE FORUMS ARE BROKEN?
KEEP CRYING, MAYBE YOUR TEARS WILL REVIVE THEM."
EITHER WILL SUFFICE.
"So much swag..."
Now, because I personally don't feel like filling out the paperwork required to FIRE whoever gave out my phone number or chucked that drum of sludge into the riverbed, I'm going to do one of two things, get my phone number changed again and have Greg fill out the paperwork to get you all fired.
But now, since i'm not an ENTIRELY cruel, I will move to have the boys at marketing run ANOTHER smear campaign on Black Mesa. In other news, I'd like to inform you that any glowing pet toads your children collect are to be brought into the marketing labs so that we can at least pretend this was intentional if the smear campaign doesn't work, get the boys down in marketing to sell this to our gullible Shareholders.
In other news, i'd like to thank the lab boys for once again forcing me to consider hiring a self defense lawyer for reparations against the poor Spanish family down the river from the facility that is now brainwashed by frogs, as well as having grown several new preying mantis legs. Honestly, I consider them improvements, but some people insist that people are too "terrified" to hire frog worshiping bug people.
On a final note, next week we'll be having fish-sticks and mashed potatoes once again.