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12 years ago @ Offbeat Mama - Mother's Day is coming... · 0 replies · +1 points

OK I'm ordering one of these. I love these. I need to dig out the art work, I have a perfect one. My daughter (now 9) was about 4 and she'd been acting out all day. I gave her a time out. She emerged from the bedroom with a stick-drawing. We had a cuddle, and she showed me the drawing of her and I, standing next to one another. "Aww, thanks honey. I like that." Then I noticed, the Stick Figure Mommy had a large tear on her cheek. I said, "Wait, why is the Mommy sad?" She said, "Look" and pointed her finger to where the Stick Figure Daughter had her Stick Leg in contact with the Mom, kicking her. SAD MOMMY. I kept it, I love that one.

12 years ago @ Offbeat Mama - What I learned from ou... · 0 replies · +1 points

I didn't camp when my first was a baby. She was probably 18 months before we jumped back in. With the second, we headed to the Methow Valley right away (baby was 4 weeks). I think this is biggest relief of my first camping trip with baby: The work is simply the work. Doesn't matter where you do it. In a perverse way, that truly frees you up. Clearly bribing my older child with a sucker the size of her head must have been part of my (tired!) survival strategy on that trip:

12 years ago @ Offbeat Mama - Why I'm over and done ... · 2 replies · +1 points

Wow. Maybe it's where I'm at in the country but everyone asked me through both my pregnancies about breastfeeding. I'm fairly certain some of them actually examined physically my breasts while doing it, and I'm not making that up.

I had a reverse experience. I was fairly ambivalent about it and not committed to it at all. In fact, maybe mildly hostile. Clearly I could see the medical benefits, but also felt OK with bottle feeding despite my earth-mother-mother and her protestations about her radical late 60s nursing of my brother and I. I made an agreement with myself: 4 weeks before I quit, hell or high water, then I'm done. I figured I'd devoted much longer times than 4 weeks that to ridiculous, pathetic, painful, futile pursuits (like....JERKS I dated). I did have a rough start with my first baby. I got mastitis. But after probably 14 days, we smoothed out and I really loved it. I nursed the second one for two years, shocking everyone including myself. Of course, the second one was much easier since one of us knew what we were doing.

Give yourself a break. You did a great, amazing job to stick with it as long as you did in the circumstances. My close girlfriend has struggled horribly with breastfeeding after each of her two IVF babies were born. She worked 80 times as hard as me for a fraction of the reward. The second time though, she was able to give herself a break and quit early. We all need to be more gentle with each other.

12 years ago @ Offbeat Mama - My growing boy and the... · 0 replies · +1 points

We love Hannas. Of course, they are super expensive but the stuff wears forever - I mean forever! There is an outlet near Seattle where I live, and last year I happened into "all stripey pants $5" and bought in sizes up to high school I think for them! When I was pregnant my friend in NY gave me a huge box of Hanna. My girl wore them, then we shipped them to my cousin, and her two girls both wore them, and then years later I had my boy and she gathered them all and sent them back. He wore them and most were still in good enough shape to consign or thrift. Also, the stuff is often at Goodwill.

12 years ago @ Offbeat Mama - My growing boy and the... · 0 replies · +1 points

"the fashion-that-is-not-my-taste path can be tough sometimes! "
Truer words were never spoken. !

12 years ago @ Offbeat Mama - My growing boy and the... · 0 replies · +1 points

People referred to my girl-child in passive language and physical attributes. Like how she looks, what she wears. They referred to my male child in active ways - - what he does, what he thinks. It was subtle but I noticed it.

12 years ago @ Offbeat Mama - My growing boy and the... · 0 replies · +1 points

I'm so glad to hear the snuggling part. I don't want that part to go away!

12 years ago @ Offbeat Mama - My growing boy and the... · 0 replies · +1 points

Those are his "Hawk Man" wings. He's a big fan of the DC Comics, we have a DVD of the really cheese-tastic 1960s / 70s ones, with The Atom, and Hawk Man and Green Lantern. We got them at a costume store around Halloween last year - it was hard to find a pair that looked like real bird wings and not fairy wings.

12 years ago @ Offbeat Mama - Who's watching the baby? · 0 replies · +1 points

I'm the wage earner in our family. Mark stays at home. I have to say there are still people walking around the earth with healing burns from my response to the "babysitting" terminology.

12 years ago @ Offbeat Mama - Respecting myself and ... · 1 reply · +1 points

I think it takes all kinds. I cherish my husband (who is not my children's biological father) to jump in 100% with the kids. I love his values, his beliefs and I want him to feel free to impart them to my children. They know Mom is different from him, is different from Dad. My husband is very NOT the African American, smooth, athletic, charismatic guy their father is. He is the extremely quiet, reserved, data-loving, geek-tastic white guy from Cleveland. I understood that by marrying him, and placing him in my children's lives, he would shape their individual characters forever. I wanted that for him, and for them because I treasure his perspective and want for them expanded horizons.

I think "the molding of her as a person wasn't mine to touch" is overly simplistic. You are quite obviously molding her as a person every day. Your very decision to walk away and not discuss religion is molding her as a person. Your influence on her father will mold her in many ways. Your choice to distance yourself from her, or maybe on another day not to be distant. All of those things will have a profound effect. Silence is a powerful thing, regarding religion as well as many other things. And reservedness is not always bad - it can also be a strong message. But you are very obviously shaping a child's character if you are in a parenting role.

My parents are still married also - 42 years.