IntenseDebate - Katydid

10 years ago @ Wonkette - Bible-Thumping Global ... · 0 replies · +3 points

In the arms of an asshole..

11 years ago @ Wonkette - The War On Christmas J... · 3 replies · +13 points

It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas
My friends won't let me join in on any games
And I can't sing Christmas songs or decorate a Christmas tree
Or leave water out for Rudolph because there's something wrong with me
My people don't believe in Jesus Christ divinity
I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew on Christmas...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EP1gNYU27Tk

11 years ago @ Wonkette - An Exegesis Of Gawker'... · 0 replies · +3 points

You are too good at this, you're beginning to scare me, lol.

11 years ago @ Wonkette - Millennials Pretty Sic... · 1 reply · +5 points

I dunno. I couldn't have imagined hitting a tiny child, and really didn't much want to until she turned into a monster teenager. Never did, though, and once she realized I wouldn't, she used that against me. Occasionally I would tell her I was going to smack her, and she said go ahead. And when I asked why she wasn't afraid, she said because I know you're not going to.

Which probably proves your point. But my parents smacked the shit out of me, usually because they got mad, not because I deserved it. Just made me hate them.

11 years ago @ Wonkette - Millennials Pretty Sic... · 0 replies · +3 points

From David Steinberg's classic routine:

Here is comedian David Steinberg's old routine about taking an exam when you are so clueless, you don't even understand the question:

(As if reading the test question:) "Refute the allegation that the literature of the middle ages was moribund."

(As if writing:) "Some believe that the literature of the middle ages was moribund. Some believe that the literature of the middle ages was not moribund. I believe that the literature of the middle ages was not moribund. In order to refute the allegation that the literature of the middle ages was moribund, one would need to have a detailed knowledge of the literature and history of that period."

(Whispering to self) "which I wish to God I had."

11 years ago @ Wonkette - Millennials Pretty Sic... · 3 replies · +28 points

Editrix, do you have the twin to my kid? It's sad that, now that she's 20, I'm wishing I had smacked her around as a kid.

Wait, what were we talking about?

11 years ago @ Wonkette - Millennials Pretty Sic... · 2 replies · +16 points

But only if they don't have to work every day....fuck, that means they'll be in Congress.

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