Thanks, Sharon. You're great. Thanks for pointing out to me how many tangles I was putting in. Ironically, I didn't really realize...:)

You are awesome. And sorry I couldn't get in with the reciprocal blog posting thing. I just have NO TIME to read. But I actually have you in my close friends on facebook, so I get a notice every time you post something. I'll be there one day. We won't lose each other because we have a "social net-" holding us together.....peace, love, mamaste!!!!!

You are so sincere. Thanks for that description. That's how I hoped people would do, not getting too caught up or lost in any one image, "letting it flow over..."

I can't believe I've missed you all these years. You should've commented and then I would've at least known that there was someone who was enjoying them-- I thought Justin was the only one who 'got it.' You should post a link here to some of your stuff, I'd love to check out what you do.

The Charlatans?

Thanks, Bob!

Always lovely to have you stop by, Justin. The things you know astound me. Thoth?? Wow. How do we even know that that's what they called a god in some ancient culture?

...I was talking to someone the other day about communication through words, she was saying how words are not necessary and that she had had entire conversations without words, and I agreed that it was possible, but that language is the only way to really be clear, without it we are like babies, and miscommunication or misinterpretation just turn into crying, screaming messes (like babies). Because I would love to just pantomime everything sometimes, but it's been revealed (in my life) that reading minds really is, actually, impossible....

I like your way of (s)wording: And our "real" life -- that's made from the same stuff as our stories: memories, feelings, a sequence of pictures, a collage of half-recalled words. History becoming his-story.

You have always talked to me about living one's story, that once it's told it's in the past. I think our culture needs to embrace now more in terms of living our stories instead of pacifying ourselves on made up stories, or stories of the past. We can be the characters and heroes that we dream about.

And here, this is awesome:

"get indoors and sing some songs, do some sermonizing about abstract topics
put the word “Biblical” in front of anything you do — to give it a bit of *oomph*, you know.
live out as much of a normal, everyday life as anybody else — with just a bit of Christian-flare to it.
and try not to cuss in traffic"

thanks for getting a little angry for me. I never got that bad in my church blogs...but it's true what you say! And I think we should be able to say it. She was saying that the part where I criticized the church leader for toasting the congregation with his coffee cup and plugging his coffee shop was wrong of me, and that if I had a problem I should have confronted to his face with a group of three or more.

"The standard response just doesn't seem to match the sheer-magnitude of the earth-shattering revelation that Jesus re-presents."

So true. Holy stuff...Thanks for saying it.

There's a great song by The Smashing Pumpkins on "Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness," (1995) called "Take Me Down" by James Iha--not Billy Corgan, though I love Corgan's lyrics.

take me down, to the underground
won't you take me down, to the underground
why oh why, there is no light
and if i can't sleep, can you hold my life
and all i see is you

take my hand, i lost where i began
in my heart, i know all of my faults
will you help me understand
and i believe in you

you're the other half of me
soothe and heal...

when you sleep, when you dream, i'll be there
if you need me, whenever i hear you sing...

there is a sun, it'll come, the sun,
i hear them call me down
i held you once, i loved that once, and life had
just begun
and you're all i see....
and trumpets blew, and angels flew on the other side
and you're all i see
and you're all i'll need
there's a love that
god puts in your heart.

"You have to wear clothes that kind of look like your name," I think I was trying to convey the concept of individuation...(is that a word?) You know, instead of just dressing like an assembly line of cut-out people, putting on the costume of ourselves...magnifying the individuality part is fun.

I like the listings you do of the different qualities of the masculine and feminine. It's important to be aware of: activity/rest, on/off, contemplation/creation.

Over the past month I've done a lot of thinking about my part effecting relationship dynamics--pulling apart the tangle of chaos. I'm pure feeling, he's very logical, and it's hard for me because when I feel rejected I freeze up--not because I want to or that I'm not capable or that I have nothing to contribute-- I just can't think because I'm afraid that nothing I say or do will be good enough-- it's total "deer in the headlights," and it makes my partner want to shake me. So for me, personally, it was a big step for us to realize that I needed to feel safe (and valued), and for him even to realize that I was frozen, not just playing some kind of game, and the he could diffuse it by simply doing or saying something to make me feel safe (and valued) again.

And that reminded me of nature--flowers open up, but the right conditions have to be present.

I like what you say about "freedom" as being two. Its one of the main points of this book by Luce Irigaray. There is a nice section about that in the book. You probably said it more concise and simply, but this is nice..

"Man is not, in fact, absolutely free. That is not to say that he in enslaved to a nature and he must overcome it. Nor does it mean that he is a slave. He is limited. His natural completion lies in two humans. Man knows of only one part of human nature, yet this limit is the condition of becoming and of the creation.

Man does not, therefore, have to consider his nature a burden, nor does he have to invent a second (abstract and unreal) human nature for himself, any more than he has to neutralize the difference between man and woman in the name of factitious equality. He should rather understand that he represents only half of humanity but it is this condition that permit him to postulate the infinite without an anti-natural labor of the negative. The fact of being half allows the whole to be constructed without denying what is. Taking the whole as its point of departure, becoming is forced to deny the whole in order to develop."

It goes on to say that "I am not free in the way that is generally conceived, but I am free on the other hand as I should be, to be what I am: half of human-kind. In that sense, right--my right--is a function of respect for human life."

Thanks for the comment, Justin:) It's nice to rethink some of the stuff. I think my next post is going to be about flowers.

Good job, Kate! I am toasting you with my coffee . . I totally hear that about "loathing you...but when the morning comes I will crave you and surrender to your kiss."

In case you wanna see the other side..... I do these visual scrapbook posts for ele. This is the one I did the week Nathan and I split......It's about why, and communities, and how people are different.
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/05/i-aint-got...

Thanks!

Guys, you are both totally optimistic...it's nice, I just find it a little bit naive. Thanks for sharing, Candice, and for putting your life out there for everyone to comment on...good or bad. You are BRAVE. And I do agree that friendship is important above all. That's what I'm stressing right now in my life. It's the only thing that can combat chaos, not a legal document.

Right now, I am going through a separation after 9 years of marriage, and I grew up a good-Christian girl-- my parents have been married for 43 years, my grandparents just hit 70-- for me, ending was not an option, and I'm feeling very liberated now. I maintain that he stopped respecting me the day of our wedding (it's difficult going from being the trophy to being on the team--and he's the coach), so admittedly, I'm coming at it from the other side.. But both of you talk about love fading and that that would sort of require the legal command to remain with someone you don't love or who doesn't love you. I don't get that.

Also, I'm fairly certain that marriage is the beginning of isolationist behaviors like urban sprawl and lonliness-related materialism. I think it's also what takes people away from experiencing real community...

I remember before I got married I was able to enjoy great friendships with men. I grew up with a brother, and it was just the two of us, so I'm really comfortable hanging with guys...and then when some of my guy friends got married suddenly they were just different, not as casual anymore, "vibey"..I called it being in the "married people's club." It was even more so when I got married. It basically means you don't go out as much, you don't hang out as much and don't laugh as much with your opposite sex-friends because "heaven forbid" that might mean you can share emotions with someone who is not your spouse!

I hope that one day the good people in our society will be evolved enough to manage their own mature relationships with respect for others and that the institution of marriage will just fade away like the archaic froth that nobody ever really needed anyway...except maybe the multi-billion dollar a year wedding industry and all the grandparents who love to look at the photo album. And it'll be great, we'll live with each other, and be more open to taking in the stranger. Call it utopian/world peace-like, etc, everyone's a butterfly, and what-have you :)

But really?? Do you really need to be married to someone to love them? And it means you can't love anyone else...(you know there are a lot of loveable people, and it's ok to love a lot of people says my 5-year old) And if you fall out of love with them or things go wrong you have to go through the State. Like, what the f**k does the State have to do with who I love?

Especially since you only met him 5 months ago I would caution you to take a few more years to decide on legal bondage. You can live someone (better kissing without marriage chains) and have a great love. There is something psychological (must be) about marriage that makes *some people* think that they can sh** all over the other person. Keep his respect, you'll value it later. Don't marry. Free people can love better. Just sayin'.

And I also wanted to add, nicely written!