I think it's time we break out that old classic of subtitling in honor of this moment:

Guys, today's episode is my very favorite of all the subtitled episodes I have seen. It's magical. It's wizardly.

In this episode, Mr. Subtitler did his damnedest to be helpful to the CC watcher. Is it remotely possible that a caption like "Bell ringing" or "Dog bark" would not convey enough information to the viewer? Well, then, we'd better make sure that there's some onomatopoeia to help us out.







.

As far as animal sounds go, though, sometimes Mr. Subtitler was just at a loss.



He gave it his best shot, nonetheless



But eventually just admitted defeat.



Today's alchemical sounds are magical once again:







In fact, alchemy is downright wizardly!



I'm still trying to figure out the difference between a magical hum, an earthy magic hum, and a wizardly hum. I must just not have a discerning enough ear.

If Mr. Subtitler loves anything more than magic and hums, though, it absolutely has to be electricity. Today, we have



electrobolts!



HARSH electroshocks!



ElectroSHOCK bolts!

And the absolute piece de resistance:



ELECTROCHAINS. Oh man, I don't even know what electrochains are, but I know that I love them. They make my heart go



for all the best reasons.

Sadly, today's episode of FMA:B does not contain any magic eagle screeches. What we do have is a lot of yelling, screaming, and gasping, all helpfully transcribed by our faithful CC subtitler.

Rose does most of it:







Poor girl is just extremely confused by all of this alchemy nonsense.

Cornello gets in a few eloquent mouth-noises too, however:







Today's alchemical noises are mostly about magic:







Even Cornello gets in on the action, but in a way that totally beats the pants off Ed:



Ed, baby, you'll know you've got your hands on a Philosopher's Stone when your alchemy digivolves into MAGICAL LASER LIGHTNING.

Let's close this off with an in memoriam bit for our dear departed friend, Mr. Worf Chimera. We hardly knew ye.

My hand to god, they're accurate and untampered with. Anyone with Netflix can turn on the English CC subtitle track and revel alongside me.

I first found these subtitles at like 2:00 AM, and when I woke up again, I sort of doubted whether I had hallucinated them. I mean, electric eagle screech? But I am SO HAPPY that they really are there.

I was initially hesitant to watch this version of the show, because I love the 2003 version so much; but the accident of selecting the CC subtitle track has made it entirely worth it. I'm enjoying the actual show, too, now that the CCs have greased the way through a rocky first episode.

This episode's CC subtitles are not as fabulous as yesterday's, but there are still some goodies.

We have a very enthusiastic train:





Some great music cues:





And some preciously straightforward descriptions.



(I am a little disappointed that we don't get more awesome fight sound descriptions like Alphonse's Hard Core Kick from episode one, though:)



Truth operates a Department of Redundency Department:



And today in Alchemy: Electricity, Magic, Shimmer, and Eaaaaagggllleee!!









Let's close this off with something horrifying:

That's the plan!

Oh baby, you ain't even seen a thing. Here are some more:



More prosaic sounds are also described lovingly:







My personal favorites for straightforwardness:





There's a lot of laughing in this episode too, and Mr. Subtitler made sure we would understand exactly what type of laughter it was:











This one I'm not sure about:



Isaac is clearly an Alphonse fan:



Let's close it off on an upbeat note.

Anyone who isn't watching this series on Netflix with the english subtitle track on is missing the best part. Whoever wrote the subtitle track is either a super-serious guy who is really dedicated to making sure everyone has a completely accurate sound effect experience, or else is a drunk intern just writing whatever the hell he wants.

Case in point: here's how he describes various alchemy sounds: