I see, and can begin to imagine what I would be up against if what I believe to be imminent should come to pass. I am fairly certain that I have read the Bible many more times than the average Christian, and have studied & taken in depth notes in each Church service like hardly anyone does... that and all of the times that I have been told that "God has great plans for you" will be easily forgotten, I guess. Sad.

Great post. I especially liked the phrase "Not only do I keep the knowledge I had as a Christian, but I also have a new way of examining what I’ve learned and a new appreciation for those studies."

I understand your point, but sometimes it is difficult. At the moment all of my family and friends are praying for my 2 year old niece because she had an accident last month. Her little head was run over by large pickup truck. She was almost killed when her skull was cracked in 3 places, but made it through and it is almost unnoticeable now.

Every time I see someone they say "we are still praying for her", "God's hand has been so evident", "God is in control and she will return to complete health"... I find it rude to say anything to the contrary. What do you think?

I would very much like to read your story on Wordpress. Who are you on Twitter?

I am not out of the closet.

The closet does not yet exist for me. I have been a Christian for almost 30 years and actually still lead an interdenominational ministry with over 900 members. I feel I am standing on a wall. On one side is Christianity and I am a Christian undergoing a crisis of faith, no doubt a serious sin, but a forgivable one. On the other side is atheism and I am a Christian witnessing the evanescence of my beliefs, and considering the consequences of renouncing Christianity and coming out as an atheist.

I have no doubt that I want whatever is best for my children, but "jumping the wall" and letting it be known could jeopardize a few things.

I empathize with Rob because I have a high ranking position in the corporate offices of a company whose owners are hardcore Catholics, some even Opus Dei members. They respect my "protestant" beliefs, but I can not help wonder if I would suddenly find myself on the next layoff list if I did something drastic.

My mother left the Church many years ago and, ironically, I guided her back after months of preaching to her. She has now been studying theology for years and is almost an accredited theologian. I do not know if she would react as Steve has described.

If I were an atheist convinced of religion's "dangers", I would like to positively influence those I love, preferably without losing family ties and/or my job.

Any advice?