This was a great read, so thank you for writing it. It feels so rare to hear people with chronic illness talking about their own experiences instead of leaving it to doctors talking about their book of symptoms.

I've actually got that 'nervous stomach' people kept mentioning to you, and I admit I find it baffling to think of them being content with that as a diagnosis given what you're talking about here. Upset stomach as a result of anxiety (in my case, as a result of my OCD) is shite to say the least, but that sure does sound like them not wanting to admit they don't know what's up with you.

I can absolutely relate to the sheer discomfort of people commenting positively about weight when it's due to illness. My disordered eating habits are poor enough that I tend to eat about once a day and often only manage 1200 calories or so unless I bolster it with 'empty' calories, and over the last two years I've lost about 25-30lb, bringing me to the point of 'clinically underweight' I've always worried I'd reach. Whenever anyone comments with envy about my being 100lb, I just want to yell 'oh yeah, it's so great being exhausted all the time with a shit immune system, worrying what will happen if you lose weight due to illness'. But then I remember it's society that's so fucked more than any person and I stick with 'I lost weight due to my severe mental illness and find it hard to eat', just to try and dissuade people from trying it out.

Whenever I see those diets that say you can safely cut your calorie intake to around 1200-1300 calories after an 'adjustment period' I just see red. I keep meaning to write something up to put somewhere, anywhere, to talk about what it really means for your body to 'adjust' to living on that. Sure, you'll learn to work through it, but I can tell you right now it's not because your *body* has adjusted, no siree.

Probably the core people are also all 'creepily' androgynous and somewhat indistinct from one another, losing all their individuality and soul in the search for a more efficient, vaguely effeminate way of living. All the rim people, of course, remember how to be REAL men and REAL women.

I'm not bitter.

Unfortunately, I am on a high dose of SSRIs. Woe :(

Thank you, regardless! <3

Oh yeah, I'm starting as soon as I have finished all my cigarettes (so I don't have any around to tempt me and because I refuse to waste money, period). I'm going to the e-cig store on Monday when they're open. I do know it's mostly the act of smoking I enjoy, so I'm really hoping e-cigs replace the habit.

Anyway, thank you! <3

To add another perspective to the other replier... I do hate to complicate things, but there is no solid consensus as to the idea of a 'male' brain and a 'female' brain existing; it's debated as to whether certain differences actually exist, and definitely as to whether they make any difference in functioning. It's a theory, and as such there is some evidence put forward to support it, but the opposite theory exists too and also has evidence. A huge part of this has been to do with everyone arguing over 'what to do' with trans people, as research on this in that area has proven largely unrepeateable and methodologically unsound.

Also, if women who have those neurological differences display different attributes and the attributes used for diagnosis are based off how men typically present them- definitely a strong working theory according to the last decade's research- it's reasonable to bring up the fact that it often goes unnoticed in women. Women also tend to be diagnosed later in life, which is probably that factor coming into play. There's been a lot of recent debate and discussion about underdiagnosis and later diagnosis in women and it's by no means solid or resolved.

Yours, someone who fits this profile who may-or-may-not be a late-diagnosis case and is currently panicking enormously over this fact and has done more research than is probably healthy, hah.

I totally need somewhere to whine about this, I am an avid smoker who doesn't want to give up (I KNOW it's terrible for me but it's like my one vice and it's a lifesaver! I get to have a terrible vice) BUT I am going to have to start giving up in the next month! I'm trans and starting HRT soon (fingers crossed) and they don't like giving it to smokers (which, admittedly, is because there are way more immediate health issues involved like sudden blood clots, which... yeah). Giving up smoking if you WANT to must be bad enough. How am I supposed to do it when I have no real commitment to it??

I mean I'm super excited to be starting HRT and stuff... but... this is a trial I hadn't really considered til it was staring me in the face. Blargh. I might be able to use e-cigarettes, at any rate. Anyone have any experience with going from smokes to e-cigs? Are they a decent substitute?

You can, but I wouldn't advise it.

You want to a) look at a portfolio of HEALED work- this is important as the way tattoos looked when healed is a way better indicator of quality, b) ask about their safety procedures (there are some good online checklists for this), and c) ask about how they prefer to work. Do they want you to provide the design and have them tattoo it as-is? Do they prefer to work with you to sketch up a design? I usually only work with artists willing to let me provide a design 100% as it is, but some places specialise in at least interpreting the design themselves.

Also, check out waiting times for the studio. Some will do all the above on a walk-in then do the tattoo (or at least the first session depending on size). Others will have a six month waiting list.

There's something to be said that this doesn't reflect so much back on the people being rewarded, though. This isn't going to reward disabled actors, say. While I think it's really important that we don't ignore that disability and sexuality need to be talked about as more than tokens, and I definitely noticed people 'forgetting' that there were biopics about a (white) gay man and a (white) disabled man nominated, I think it's also important to look at who TELLS stories, as well as who the characters in them are. Are we only comfortable with things like disability and sexuality if they're things we can reward people for 'experiencing' and then putting away?

A lot of what I've seen around the Hawking biopic seems to be about the incredible difficulty an able-bodied actor has gone through pretending to be disabled for a bit and how he 'learned a lot' and is so admiring of disabled people.

But honestly, 'the Oscars have historically been VERY white and VERY male and this is bad' can 100% coexist with 'there were films including gay and disabled people nominated'. A criticism of snubbing and overlooking people of colour and women doesn't necessarily mean seeing those things as unimportant, just that it doesn't somehow balance out the white male overload.

I just looked up the noms and now I'm yawning my head off. How... I dunno, insipid, I suppose? Ugh.

Meanwhile, seems to me *some* parents are willing to threaten estrangement far more easily. Almost like there's a power differential that should be acknowledged or something. HMMM. :|