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9 years ago @ Wonkette - Best Justice Ever Ruth... · 1 reply · +20 points

She's trending in an awesome way. The next thing you know, she'll be teasing us with some playful "Care to guess what I'm wearing under this robe?" banter.

This woman is a hero to us all. All hail The Notorious RBG.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - New Republican Congres... · 1 reply · +7 points

You agree that Mary Ann goes D at the end of the day? I think it just has to happen.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - New Republican Congres... · 10 replies · +25 points

Given the boat analogy and some references in this comment thread to Gilligan's Island, I was trying to pin down everyone's political affiliation:

Gilligan: Doesn't care much about politics, but would go D if forced to vote.
The Skipper: Solid R, I'm afraid. Since he and Gilligan always butted heads, this really can't be any other way.
Thurston Howell: R (No explanation required)
Lovie Howell: R (No explanation required)
Ginger: Hollywood liberal. A solid D.
The Professor: Believes in basic science, which makes him ineligible to be in the Republican Party. He's a D.

Ironically, Mary Ann becomes the swing vote. Kansas farm girl, which makes you think R. But a sneaky-sultry independent streak (she came alone to the boat for the three-hour tour), which makes you think D. Oh, fuck it. Mary Ann votes D and puts the island in the Obama column. . .

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Morning Maddow: Oregon... · 3 replies · +11 points

Those moviegoers in Mississippi seeing "50 Shades of Grey" are going to go batshit crazy when they realize the two lead characters aren't related. I predict refunds on a massive scale.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Alabama Smashes Marria... · 0 replies · +26 points

One of these days, Roy Moore is going to get arrested. With his pants around his ankles. In a rest-stop men's room just off I-65.

I predict that will explain a lot.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Boehner And McConnell ... · 2 replies · +80 points

You just have to love this:

"We’re, we’re working on this. Having discussions amongst our members, got a lot of divergent views about how best to go back to a doctor/patient relationship that’s revered. . ."

Unless, of course, you and your doctor are discussing family planning or reproduction. In that case, fuck you and your freedom.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Fox News Explains How ... · 8 replies · +40 points

I think we're all missing the really important point here, which is that the pretty lady in the purple dress gives me an erection.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Tucker Carlson's Inter... · 3 replies · +42 points

Lance Armstrong agrees that these cheating allegations are total bullshit.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - GOP Senate Drops Words... · 0 replies · +12 points

That's John Cornyn, proudly occupying his position in the Human Centipede of right-wing Government.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Alabama Judges Forget ... · 1 reply · +24 points

This immorality absolutely sickens me. The next thing you know, we'll have people in Alabama fucking their sisters and cousins.

Hey, wait a minute. . .

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