How do you respond? How can you respond? And how can you teach your children to respond?

Last night I read a heartbreaking article on the surge in bullying of Muslim children in schools. My son is only three years old, but he shares a small part of the Bernardino's shooter's name. It's right there, lovingly stenciled on his lunchbox and shoes and coat and hat that he takes to school with him every day. It's only a matter of time until the other kids are old enough to read it. What will happen then? Even as adults, we struggle to respond to open hatred and racism. How do you deal with sending your kid off to school, knowing it will happen to him, eventually?

You can try an insulate your family as well as you can. Try to pick the "right" town with as mixed demographics as possible, that sort of thing. But even the old belief that trying to stick to the Northeast would provide a little protection is proving futile, as much of the worst rhetoric and blatantly racist actions are coming straight from the Northeastern states. Trump and his crazy friends may eventually froth away, but they'll leave the groundswell of Islamophobia that they're building. So. He'll have to deal with it at some point.

I do know that the human brain is awful at dealing with novel, negative situations. This is why we have a dreadful response time in emergencies, and why things like the bystander effect leave us standing like deer in headlights when faced with things like disasters, crime, and open racism. So perhaps we need to PRACTICE dealing with racism with our children. My heart freezes up at the idea of roleplaying dealing with a racist classmate (or worse, adult) with my baby, but I need to look at it like practicing Stop Drop and Roll for fire safety or other basic safety drills.

The problem is that there's nice, easy to remember sound bites and actions to remember for dealing with fire. There's no Stop Drop and Roll for racism, no government organizations helping us cut the emergency up into manageable pieces to remember and deal with. For very little children I would think the focus should be on disengagement, seeking safety, and reporting. But as our kids grow into teenagers, should we change the drills to give other tools as well? Not saying that people HAVE to confront racism, but giving them the practice so that they can confront it if they choose to, and aren't blindsided into muteness by surprise?

I don't know any of the answers. These are just the things that keep me staring at the ceiling at night after the three year old needs a 4:30 am potty break.

That one is potentially realistic. Small children are very vulnerable to heat stroke, and attics can reach 120 to 130 degrees easily.

It's a running joke in my husband's family that they're building a small model UN because all the cousins happened to marry spouses from different continents, but I can see how it could be super annoying coming from outside the family!

My sis-in-law and I both get the "oh, you're not the baby sitter?" comment, which I always find surprising. I will admit I take perverse pleasure in answering "Where's his dad from?" with a cheery, "Oh, New Jersey!" But then I generally relent and add in "but his parents are from Bangladesh" just because it gives me an excuse to mention Bangladesh, as most Americans do not know it even exists.

I am probably a bad person for not minding the "mixed kids are so cute" comments despite the train car of racist baggage behind it because yeah, doy, all the kids in my extended family are crazy cute. ;)

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WOW. If I try cloth diapers with my next baby, I'm definitely going to give these guys a try.