en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/935009 Comments by Tracy http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/12/i-broke-up-with-vulnerable-narcissism-and-you-can-too/#IDComment1008156891 I feel you! It can feel like an altered reality. XO Tue, 29 Dec 2015 20:32:18 +0000 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/12/i-broke-up-with-vulnerable-narcissism-and-you-can-too/#IDComment1008156891 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/03/5-reasons-you-may-not-be-ready-for-a-new-relationship/#IDComment960744078 Hi Michelle- I like Radical Self-Acceptance by Tara Brach and Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff. Once you start speaking from the most honest, vulnerable place in you and witness that you don't fall apart wishing to take it back, you will start to feel completely different about yourself (and your relationships will reflect it too). :) Mon, 30 Mar 2015 17:23:43 +0000 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/03/5-reasons-you-may-not-be-ready-for-a-new-relationship/#IDComment960744078 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/08/i-am-on-your-doorstep-but-i-dont-love-you-or-want-a-commitment/#IDComment951642235 Dodged a bullet indeed! :) Thu, 19 Feb 2015 01:31:06 +0000 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/08/i-am-on-your-doorstep-but-i-dont-love-you-or-want-a-commitment/#IDComment951642235 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/12/the-damaging-effects-of-an-inauthentic-life-how-to-change-it/#IDComment936690391 Thank you Kerry! Happy New Year! Fri, 2 Jan 2015 17:11:46 +0000 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/12/the-damaging-effects-of-an-inauthentic-life-how-to-change-it/#IDComment936690391 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/10/the-key-to-conquering-loneliness/#IDComment901726113 Awww thank you Kerry! XO Fri, 31 Oct 2014 13:55:42 +0000 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/10/the-key-to-conquering-loneliness/#IDComment901726113 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/10/the-key-to-conquering-loneliness/#IDComment901725957 Hi Bob! I love hearing from you and where you are currently at...I love the feeling of the veil lifting. By the way-I had an experience yesterday, that brought that on...and will be writing about it next. :) Victimization is a default many of us go to, because we live in a society and are brought up with this dynamic as the norm (when it is not--it is disempowering)...the recognition of it operating in our lives is truly the beginning of moving into empowerment. You will have that relationship, and there is a person who will love you from where you are...not from the viewpoint of a skewed notion of society. :) Fri, 31 Oct 2014 13:55:28 +0000 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/10/the-key-to-conquering-loneliness/#IDComment901725957 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/09/why-we-should-be-throwing-the-no-contact-rule-out-the-window/#IDComment882830240 Hi Ben--thanks for commenting. It sounds like your ex, may have had some control issues...though I am not sure what place both of you were in when it ended....it sounds like for her she needed to do that (though a restraining order seems extreme). :) Tue, 30 Sep 2014 17:54:50 +0000 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/09/why-we-should-be-throwing-the-no-contact-rule-out-the-window/#IDComment882830240 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/09/why-we-should-be-throwing-the-no-contact-rule-out-the-window/#IDComment882824526 Hi Candice--that's excellent for you! For some people who are clearly in a more connected place with themselves (like you), no contact is not such a struggle--some people never move beyond focusing on the old relationship when forced into no contact. Those are the people who can't get to the deep-seated stuff and are too stuck in what they cannot have, what they didn't say or do... I love hearing how it worked well for you. Tue, 30 Sep 2014 17:40:00 +0000 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/09/why-we-should-be-throwing-the-no-contact-rule-out-the-window/#IDComment882824526 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/09/on-chasing-love/#IDComment880962146 Hi Erica- Thanks for commenting. Awareness and self-love are always in a state of growth, aren't they and sometimes it still takes awhile to get things--but when we do, it is such a great feeling of inner peace....and knowing we're moving forward. Fri, 26 Sep 2014 04:02:10 +0000 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/09/on-chasing-love/#IDComment880962146 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/06/5-ways-to-tell-youre-growing-as-an-individual-in-your-relationship/#IDComment880379811 I love what you shared Penelope! Thank you and yes, cutting things off prematurely only holds us in a state of pain that we bring to the next relationship. :) Love is where it's at! Wed, 24 Sep 2014 17:05:07 +0000 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/06/5-ways-to-tell-youre-growing-as-an-individual-in-your-relationship/#IDComment880379811 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/06/5-ways-to-tell-youre-growing-as-an-individual-in-your-relationship/#IDComment880379446 Glad you came across it too! :) Wed, 24 Sep 2014 17:04:01 +0000 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/06/5-ways-to-tell-youre-growing-as-an-individual-in-your-relationship/#IDComment880379446 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/09/on-chasing-love/#IDComment879941805 You're welcome! Thank you for reading too. :) Tue, 23 Sep 2014 15:14:34 +0000 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/09/on-chasing-love/#IDComment879941805 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/09/why-lowering-your-expectations-in-a-relationship-is-a-bad-idea/#IDComment875160961 So true Bill! And it takes a great deal of awareness not to continue down that familiar road too. Thank you for sharing that information. :) Wed, 10 Sep 2014 20:47:12 +0000 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/09/why-lowering-your-expectations-in-a-relationship-is-a-bad-idea/#IDComment875160961 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/09/why-lowering-your-expectations-in-a-relationship-is-a-bad-idea/#IDComment875160801 Thanks Paul! I am glad you liked it. :) Wed, 10 Sep 2014 20:46:33 +0000 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/09/why-lowering-your-expectations-in-a-relationship-is-a-bad-idea/#IDComment875160801 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/08/i-am-on-your-doorstep-but-i-dont-love-you-or-want-a-commitment/#IDComment867084451 I completely understand what you are talking about...it cannot be the terms of only one person. And to be made to feel like we don't matter is truly a statement of the other person, because their capacity for intimacy (emotionally) is about zero. The thing is it is difficult to get someone who does not want to be available to open up at all, and there is nothing that can be done about it. Thank you for commenting. :) Thu, 21 Aug 2014 05:33:58 +0000 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/08/i-am-on-your-doorstep-but-i-dont-love-you-or-want-a-commitment/#IDComment867084451 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/08/i-am-on-your-doorstep-but-i-dont-love-you-or-want-a-commitment/#IDComment866703075 I love your story...it is all any of us get to have is awareness. When we have the awareness--we can start to depersonalize (even though it is still painful to go thru the process and know it is someone else's issues) I look back myself and can spot exactly why I was there and how the belief about myself began decades ago. We all deserved better than half-assed! Thank you for commenting! :) Wed, 20 Aug 2014 06:33:49 +0000 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/08/i-am-on-your-doorstep-but-i-dont-love-you-or-want-a-commitment/#IDComment866703075 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/08/i-am-on-your-doorstep-but-i-dont-love-you-or-want-a-commitment/#IDComment866701737 Hi Kate-thank you for your kind words. :) I have moved on from this relationship. I just know that so many people have had a relationship such as this one...and most people who have had this experience think they're alone and some sort of feeling that something is wrong with them. I love your attitude! Be well~ Tracy Wed, 20 Aug 2014 06:27:35 +0000 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/08/i-am-on-your-doorstep-but-i-dont-love-you-or-want-a-commitment/#IDComment866701737 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/08/i-am-on-your-doorstep-but-i-dont-love-you-or-want-a-commitment/#IDComment866700900 You're welcome Hogan! I wish you the best in your relationship journey. :) Wed, 20 Aug 2014 06:24:16 +0000 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/08/i-am-on-your-doorstep-but-i-dont-love-you-or-want-a-commitment/#IDComment866700900 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/08/i-am-on-your-doorstep-but-i-dont-love-you-or-want-a-commitment/#IDComment866700590 Hi Cindy...go ahead and sign up--I can send you the replay of it. :) Wed, 20 Aug 2014 06:22:57 +0000 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/08/i-am-on-your-doorstep-but-i-dont-love-you-or-want-a-commitment/#IDComment866700590 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/08/i-am-on-your-doorstep-but-i-dont-love-you-or-want-a-commitment/#IDComment866700289 Hi Sophia! Yes, the guy sounds like so many others who are purveyors of the pattern. I have shifted so far away from allowing this to come into my life again. It actually got to a point where I can clearly see (which is why I can write this) how I got in, why I stayed and what I kept hoping for---and me and who I was at the time, have an ocean between. The emotional impact is where we have to keep our awareness. Thank you for sharing... Wed, 20 Aug 2014 06:21:38 +0000 http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/08/i-am-on-your-doorstep-but-i-dont-love-you-or-want-a-commitment/#IDComment866700289