After the experience we had caring for a medically fragile child, yeah, I know more than I'd like to about medications. For instance, at the turn of this past year I wound up with a kink in my neck that just wouldn't come out... I saw the physician's assistant and he put me on robaxin to relax the muscles. Took it for a bit, felt some improvement but it was just too tight to get the one crack I needed to get. I went back in a week and saw my regular doc, he said pretty much what the PA said until I asked him what the recommended dosage was per kilogram on it, knowing I'm a big boy (almost 400lbs at that point, remember). He smiled, pulled out his phyisician's desk reference and realized that for my weight I was barely on a therapeutic dosage, so he doubled it. (Actually, as often happened, a real therapeutic dosage for my weight is over the max they can prescribe, go figure.) A day or two later I was finally able to get that crack out of my neck. Hurt like heck the rest of the day, still, but it's not the first time I've been able to help a doctor with something like that when prescribing meds for me. They do still know more than I do about it and I don't forget it, and I'll trust a professional before I trust advice I find online, but I'm not afraid to give them another perspective to chew on just the same. :)

That said, I ideally do not want to be on this for the rest of my life... but I'll talk with the doc about an exit strategy. The one thing I didn't like is he started talking about chemical imbalances when they hadn't done any tests for chemical imbalances, just a paper test for me to describe how I was feeling. It's a little too neat and tight that way...

Hrm. I haven't been drinking quite as much water lately... not a bad idea, certainly worth a try. :)

As far as calling my doc, no, I have no plans to. I mean, I already have a followup appointment scheduled in, er, 6 weeks or so (mid-November in any case), so there's no need to call him when I'm already planning to go back in. :)

It's also worth noting I've been on a few other antidepressants before. I've been diagnosed with seasonal affective disorder in the past, back when we were living in Northern Ohio. I've not had the same seasonal/sunlight issues since then, and since this started in summer there's no real reason to think it's that again. I know that when I was on Paxil I had to take half of the dose I was prescribed or else I was living in a fog. I assure you, though, I won't cut any drugs like that cold turkey on my own.

Also worth replying, there are foods that we don't stock here either. I can't deal with an open bag of chips. So long as their sealed I'm OK -- we get large packs of the snack sized chips for the kids so they can have 'em, but if there's a large bag open it won't last long. There are other foods I like to call "red light foods" that I have to be a really careful around, but it is amazing how much easier it is to just not bring them in the house. (I've also not done this lately, but I have in the past been known to hit a drive thru before I shop just so I'm not walking around really hungry and grabbing all the red light foods while I'm shopping....)

I have challenges... but I have some ways to cope. I had a co-worker today walk into my office with a donut in her hand specifically to give me a hard time about it and how good it was, knowing that I'm trying to watch what I eat. I turned the tables when I pulled some fresh grapes out of my lunch cooler and started eating them... you could tell by the look on her face even she realized it was a better option than the donut she was eating. 'Course, I did break down and have some donuts later but that was more for the psycho morning effect than anything else.... :/ On the flip side, I let my son finish some of my dinner for me tonight at the restaurant and we took another chunk of it home, but more about that little success at the weekly update. ;)

Wish you weren't dropping sizes so quickly? Wish I had your problem. heh.

I don't know that I'm an inspiration really... I'm just me, chugging along. I'm sure the WW scales will show me a few pounds heavier, and the doc had me starting five pounds higher than WW did anyway. But, yeah, a different perspective is nice. :) (Sad thing is, it's tempting not to go to WW tomorrow just because I don't want to hear anything different... heh.)

It is a good way to win the race... unless, after the few months off you then start gaining again. 'cuz that sucks. ;)

And would you recommend a different comments feature? I went with Intense Debates trying to foster more discussion, but between the spam catching issues lately and the short lengths for comments, eh. If I continue with the blog as such I'm happy to consider changing what I use... let me know what you might recommend and I'd be happy to check it out. Of course, it'd rock if it worked with WordPress. :)

I've lost almost 10%... or at least I was within two pounds of it, but again I've gained a few more back. But I hit that point in July, actually, and it HAS been a few months and my emotional space seems to be declining, or at least going through rougher patches. Still, your overall point of just holding steady when I'm not up to losing is a valid one... but it's the days that I have loud voices in my head screaming "@$^# it all" and I turn to what I consider self destructive eating, or reaching for foods not because they really appeal but precisely because they're bad for me... yeah, those are the weeks I don't do so good. Mind you, I'd been allowing myself to be in a holding pattern when still reaching out like that, so if I go to actually trying to be really good on my good days than my bad days may just be more of a balance vs. a trend in a bad period... we'll see. I'm still learning myself and what to do with myself as I go along, and I still have the long term goal, but... eh... may be time for a different chapter in my history lessons.

Hey, I never said I was quitting. Well, I've debated quitting Weight Watcher's lately, as if I'm not figuring out my points then I'm not really doing program anyway and it's not like it's free. I've also debated "quitting" the updates on this blog such as they are, in particular after that TED video you had on yours. It rings so true... I did so well at first, got a lot of accolades and then started sitting back and basking in my glory... when there's not really all that much glorious about a 350lb me, 'cept that it's a healthier me than a 390lb me. I dunno. Still debating that. I'm not giving up on myself in the long run, though, just struggling through other issues as I chug along. We'll see where it goes.

but.... but... but... if you have it over there, then I can't put it on the mantel over my fireplace! :p