Reading the last post... there is a reason you crave chocolate: cocao is the highest natural source of magnesium; the trick is that you don't want all the bad stuff, like corn syrup and milk (make your own chocolate with coconut oil and agave syrup.) While you're at it, consider reducing refined foods in general as they exacerbate any food sensitivities you may have.

To specifically answer your question, I never did have bad periods, so I can't relate to your current turmoil, but I DO take bio-identical progesterone and estrogen and they have made my life tolerable again. I still wake up in the night in a sweat, but before those pills and creams, any stress and I would burn up. I never had mood swings before, and then my husband was talking about how many menopausal women get divorced! I don't sleep well, but at least I get half a night's sleep! Without those hormones supplements, I would be a foggy sweaty mess. Menopause is not for wimps! So I am happy to have found something that isn't going to make me sicker (with cancer) and gives me most of my life back.

That is also another reason to workout BTW: it helps with hormonal production, and weight bearing exercise also helps reduce bone loss.

Other than the bio-identical hormones, and working out, I have to credit eliminating processed foods as helping me reach a reasonably even-tempered outlook and a healthy weight. Don't rule out hormones in the future, but look to what you are doing on a daily basis that might be contributing to your PMS.

~ Gillian

Appleseed is a two day rifle marksmanship course that teaches fundamental marksmanship and the history of April 19th, 1775 (the first day of the American Revolution.) They are fun events with a lot of work, focus and determination... on the part of both students and instructors. They are usually outdoors, so there is the weather and often they can be noisy, so you could see how one might get a headache. I have to credit Appleseed for getting me to choose to get into shape -- that is not its purpose, but we teach responsibility and that I one thing I took away from it. Our website is appleseedinfo.org (I hope that's OK to mention.)

~ Gillian

I've never had a panic attack, but I have had absolutely debilitating headaches -- so bad that I wanted to go to the ER or have my husband run over me with his truck. I know the ER: they make you wait 12 hours for help, NO, I wanted to DIE IMMEDIATELY!!!

The headaches ALWAYS happened during or after running an Appleseed marksmanship event, at which I had just become a full volunteer instructor. My neck and shoulders would seize up solid. I thought it was nutritional; I thought it was hormonal (I was also going through menopause... I advise against it); I finally think it was just dehydration! (I tried all kinds of supplements, read books, etc.) Now I have also eliminated almost all processed food.

Now I do yoga or Egoscue EVERY day regardless of what else I do. I also have a series of brain wave and hypnosis tapes that I play on my Nano just in case I feel the need to get soothed... which is daily.

I feel forever thankful that I have not had an attack in 2 years, knock on wood! Something about the yoga, tapes, water and food has made a difference. I also exercise like crazy now, and have lost about 30 pounds.

I think I would have died had I not found a solution -- the pain was unbearable! Luckily, I found that getting healthy was my solution. I hope you find your solution soon. Maybe there is something one of us has said on this blog that helps!

~ Gillian

I have not tried sandbags, since I am happy with my kettlebells, but I do keep track of a lot of commentary about exercise equipment -- I know Bodyrock promotes the Ultimate Sandbag, but make sure you check out Henkin's blog posts about How Not to Squat, where he warns about the dangers of squatting with the sandbag on your shoulders (Bodyrock does this move but does NOT give any warnings about it.) I also think that it is unwise to use the sandbag to swing, as you would a kettlebell, because of the stress put on the lower back at the bottom of the swing.

~ Gillian

BTW, I am amazed that you find the time to comment on so many of the posts on your blog!

Wow, I think you are a lot further along the path of healing than you are aware.

What I find so interesting is the pervasiveness of these problems with self-image and compulsion to become something we are not. Some of it is a youth thing -- while I would love to have a body twenty years younger (I am 52), I would not want to be 32 in today's world, and I would not want to lose what I have learned.

I was never especially out of shape, so my body was never a big issue -- I was more concerned about survival and making a living. Our world today is in many ways, so much smaller (we have fewer real flesh friends) but larger in other ways (we have internet international friends.) Sooner or later, I think most people sink into accepting who they are, especially if they have a family or a demanding career. That doesn't mean they are happy and I am stunned by how many of my friends do not have the happy marriages I thought they had.

So, realizing that you have let anything possess your life beyond what is healthy is a start. Like most things, we don't seek help until it gets so bad that we see no choice. Talking and seeking support is a healthy outlet, so blogging about your issues is a way to accept them and move on... eventually.

The path may not be easy, but then again, nothing worth doing ever is! As long as you keep what is truly important to you in perspective (your husband and your kids), then you will never allow yourself to stray too far off track.

All of your latest posts have led to this... the fashion industry, hollywood and the fitness industry are not about health, but about selling something. The sales don't quit if we are never satiated, so they have to constantly instill a sense that we need newness: more clothes, a new you... Its not about ever accomplishing a goal, its always about selling more pills or frills. As long as you know that, you are a little more shielded from the ill effects.

I've been lucky... I got back into shape relatively easily and before time took too much of a toll, apart from wrinkles! I workout harder than my friends, but I demand more. I feel I am doing it for a reason: so I won't suffer from debilitating injuries as I get older. I am in a position of maintenance now, and I don't much pay attention to what I eat, as long as it is 'clean.' I am from the running generation of the 70's, and Let It Be. My parents were from the depression and WW2. I grew up as a stoic, so I did not complain and I just lowered my head and worked harder. I didn't have the time or the patience to question my self-worth. I don't mean to diminish the anxiety one bit, I know it can become totally debilitating. I was just on the cusp where my parents did not allow me to wallow in self-pity.

Our values are different today: most don't remember the depression or know of hunger or true financial struggle (as in dust bowl.) Kids today think that it is a hardship to live without a cell phone... I grew up without TV until I was 10. I didn't even like it!

So with new perspective, comes new problems. And with the dominance of marketing, we are convinced that we are never good enough, so we must always consume... something... new. If you break out of the consumption addiction, you break out of their grasp over your psyche. The you will find true freedom and acceptance of yourself. Its the path you take that is the challenge!

~ Gillian

Precisely because we ARE law abiding. Less than 0.1% of law abiding citizens misuse their guns; it is criminals who use guns and they use them with utter disregard for the 1000s of gun laws on the books... those laws that people like me are so careful to live within. Guns are tools, but they are the ONLY tool enumerated in the Bill of Rights as an inalienable god given right, which by definition cannot be taken away by any entity other than our creator. The founding fathers very clearly acknowledged that gun ownership and marksmanship skills allowed our independence and enforced it. In short, it was included as the 2nd amendment in order to prevent government tyranny.

In a world inhabited by people who have no respect for life, a gun is a great deterrent. The Justice department is loath to admit that simply displaying a gun is sufficient to stop the progression of a crime, but criminals of all kinds will admit this is the case. Furthermore, the police owe you absolutely no duty of protection, so as a self-sufficient person it is your responsibility to come up with some plan to protect your family. You have every right to dislike guns, but don't let your opinions limit my rights.

As for gun crimes in general, they are the highest where the gun rights of citizens are the most restricted, such as in large urban areas, such as Cincinnati. Private gun ownership was enough to deter a Japanese invasion of America during WWII, surely that is enough to consider that legal private gun ownership might have its benefits. If that is still not enough for you, then consider who is trying to limit those rights: elitists who use those same rights for their own personal benefit. Now why would they take away YOUR gun rights, while ensuring their own protection by those same means?

I am a proud gun owner and rifleman. And I teach marksmanship and American Heritage so that others can regain that sense of pride in our country and its struggles.