I agree that it is not the actual definition of self-possessed that we have a problem with...you stated what it means to you "people who are centered on themselves first"...i understand the actual definition which means self-composed which does not seem to apply to your comment. So what we are trying to tell you is that although your intention was not to offend...apparently it did, so you can just admit that maybe you chose the wrong definition...or maybe admit that is actually how you feel, in which case your opinion may be respected:)

This is in response to Chris's ignorant comment, which for some reason I was unable to reply directly to! Wow what a presumptuous load of crap!! Who are you to assume that people who do not want kids are "easily distracted" or "non-commital"?? Guess what...I've been with my partner for 8 years now...how's that for a commitment?? Oh but i guess the commitment to children is the only one that counts? I am assuming that by saying "One day a cool Fall breeze will come, and you will realize it's too late; your time is up and since you don't have children the memory of who you are will disappear.", you are implying that those of us who haven't had kids will regret our decision. Maybe some will..but probably just as many parents will regret their decision..they are just not allowed to admit it! Get a life..there are more ways to make an imprint on this earth than having children, and by the way, that is a pretty selfish reason to want kids;)

This is in response to Chris's ignorant comment, which for some reason I was unable to reply directly to! Wow what a presumptuous load of crap!! Who are you to assume that people who do not want kids are "easily distracted" or "non-commital"?? Guess what...I've been with my partner for 8 years now...how's that for a commitment?? Oh but i guess the commitment to children is the only one that counts? I am assuming that by saying "One day a cool Fall breeze will come, and you will realize it's too late; your time is up and since you don't have children the memory of who you are will disappear.", you are implying that those of us who haven't had kids will regret our decision. Maybe some will..but probably just as many parents will regret their decision..they are just not allowed to admit it! Get a life..there are more ways to make an imprint on this earth than having children, and by the way, that is a pretty selfish reason to want kids;)

Being a 35 year old woman who has never desired children, this article discusses a subject that I am very passionate about. I think the point of exposing this subject is not to provoke anger or build walls between "those who want' and "those who don't'. It enables people to see another side of the coin. It is interesting to me how angry some people get at me for expressing that i do not want kids. Why do they care? It's just a personal choice like what kind of career I want to pursue. It seems to me that some people with kids take my dream of not wanting kids as a personal affront to their own choices. I do not judge someone for wanting kids, yet I have personally experienced judging and name calling throughout my adult life, due to this choice. Insults such as I am selfish, I'm going to regret my decision and I'm not a real woman! I have always wondered, why is it okay for people to judge me for not wanting kids, but those who choose to have them are off the hook? Nobody asks people why they want kids or if they've thought long and hard about their decision, or whether they regret having kids. If more people thought long and hard about the serious decision to have kids...I think there would be more child-free people in the world. I also want to address the comment about child free people being "self possessed". That is such a generalization and btw, the same thing as calling someone selfish. I am not a selfish person. Is my decision not to have kids a selfish one? Probably, because it involves my life and how I want to live it. The argument can be made that people who decide to have children make that decision based on selfish reasons. You are choosing to live your life the way you want to live it. I hate to tell you Edward, but we do not view parents as special people who are out to save the world. If you were really selfless, there are plenty of children who already exist in the world who could benefit from having parents. Maybe you do have adopted children, in which case I applaud you, because you are helping people. You made a personal decision, just as I and many others have. I for one am glad that this subject is being exposed and that we are given the opportunity to defend ourselves.