I sort of touched on that in my post about it what exactly qualifies as nepotism. Is it nepotism that i'm privileged to do a volunteer job? I didn't say that verbatim but my scenario was I am currently in an unpaid internship but, since it is not paid, is it nepotism that i'm able to work that internship instead of having a paid job at a place that wouldn't look good on my resume like making ice cream cones since my parent's have money? I don't know, but if I were to guess, i think so because I know people who have not been able to accept unpaid internships that would look great on their resume because of financial situations. "Nothing is fair in the game of life". Before starting this class I used to feel such immense guilt about exactly what you said "I guess at the same time it’s sickening to be sitting here on my expensive laptop eating Chocolate while young kids in Africa are modern day slaves on cocoa plantations and have never even tasted Chocolate." Because I didn't know how I got to be so lucky. I still wake up every day and say "wow" and appreciate the little thing's the privledged often ignore. For example, i was sitting in bed this morning thinking how comfortable I am and thank god my parent's can afford air conditioning. Before I would have gotten really upset about this, thinking this isn't fair, i don't deserve this, but I have learned that even though I have blonde hair and white skin and was got lucky with the parents who birthed me, I have my own problems, and so does everyone else and I shouldn't make myself feel bad for not having it the worst of the worst because that child in Africa could be a much happier person than I am today. You never know what it's like on the other side, but when you get a clear picture it's hard not to kick yourself over and over about it.

Haha I feel like every lecture Dr. Richard’s says “This is a great class...” But he was right! I can’t even decide which has been my favorite because they are all so good like he says.

But anyways, I never knew there was an actual term for “it doesn’t matter WHAT you know, it matters WHO you know.” Nepotism, cool. I can give you guys a story on how a white, rich girl really has not benefited much from her nepotistic ties. I’m really not lying when I say that when I look back on my “life” all 19 years of it and see how much of my “success” has not been from my family or friends. My family and friends have tried to help, but it never worked. For example, I suffer from severe ADHD and anxiety, but I worked through it by constantly pulling all nighters in high school, annoying the crap out of my teachers with questions and staying after school, etc. Because of my hard work, I had a 3.9 gpa. I worked so hard because I wanted to have options when I applied to college and not have any regrets. Unfortunately, when it came time to take my SATs I was not approved for extra time by the state because of my high GPA and consequently it was impossible for my to get the score I wanted. With my GPA I should have gotten between a 1250-1450 (that’s what my SAT teacher told me at least), but I took the test for the first time and got a 1000. Then, I got a teacher and after taking it 2 more times I got a 1050. That 50 points was shit to me, my parent’s money didn’t help me for one second. This was a situation where no one could help me. I still swear Penn State sent an acceptance letter to the wrong Kara Bergman because I got rejected from much “worse” schools.

What is interesting is, my hard work is not the result of having strict parents who encouraged me to study and this and that. They actually told me to study less so I wouldn’t be so stressed out. Their relaxed attitude is shown when you look at my brother. My brother is on his fifth year of college right now, doesn’t even have a 2.5 gpa, and my parents felt as though they couldn’t help him (find a job) because he is “such a failure” as my Dad says with a chuckle. But, after one too many years of caddying he took it upon himself to apply to over 50 companies for an urban design internship and he managed to get one! Right now he is living in Charleston; works during the day and works at a Hyatt at night to pay his rent. In addition to this, I got an internship at Comcast Spectacor by just applying. Granite, it’s not paid so I since my parent’s are willing to subsidize my living expenses at school… That is a result of nepotism because I was able to accept an unpaid internship.

With that being said, I do know lots of people who have taken advantage of “who they know” to get jobs, but I think there are many cases where people get it on their own which should not be ignored. I didn’t tell this lovely story to seem like I’m some poster child, because I’m not in the least bit, I told it to try and show that connections are not the most important things at all, even when it involves the most privileged of the privileged. My friend Morgan has said to me so many times (she’s a journalism major), “I can’t find an internship because I don’t know anyone!” But people like Morgan need to see that one CAN get a job on their own. I feel like it’s really discouraging to preach to people “it’s about who you know” because often times it’s not. I think too often this claim is an excuse for when some people when they simply aren’t getting what they want—not that I’m saying these people don’t deserve it—they just are not “at the right place at the right time.”

So what you saying is, your black uncle, got married to a KKK member’s daughter, had a child with her, and then the whole family moved onto the KKK compound and not once were they harassed?? Would you mind elaborating on this because in all the time I have heard about the KKK, I had the understand they despised black people and Jews. I am Jewish, so I have always been scared to the core of them. Was your uncle scared? If not, can you explain why not? Also, what is this compound you speak of? It sounds like that compound in Texas for the polygamists. I’m just really interested to hear more about your uncle and to hear if he is just so lovable that they made a special exception for him, or if the values of the KKK are different today?

This lecture was really “eye opening”. I feel really dumb for always thinking it was a republican issue while failing to recognize that it’s not, nor is it a democratic issue…and I should have seen that in response to each party’s lack of “success”. I always thought “oh they find a way in somehow” but that isn’t really the case, they are subtly let in, and now thinking about it, I feel like if the government (which they don’t) really truly didn’t want anymore immigrants, they would have been able to put an end to it. I personally am not opposed to illegal immigration, I don’t know why I don’t, I probably should be a little bit, but it’s a matter that doesn’t negatively affect any aspect of my life. The only time I have really experienced the world of immigrants was through the woman who cleans my parent’s house. She is an illegal immigrant (shhh) and her brother who used to come to help was one as well but the government somehow found out he was illegal and I’m pretty sure he was put in jail for a little, but I do know he is back in Mexico now. When I learned that I was incredibly upset. Also, a few months ago this truck of Latino (I don’t know where they are from) worker’s ran into my car and they didn’t do any damage besides a small nick on my bumper, but they were stressing that I was going to ask for their information and I’m assuming it was because they were illegal, and I have a soft side of the illegal’s so I said “este bueno” with my poor Spanish and did a “phew” signal on my head and then told them “vamanos”. If it was anyone else but a group of illegal immigrants, I probably would have gotten their information but because of my past experiences with them I have, like I stated, a soft side for them. That truck of men could have been a truck-full of raging a-holes but I assume the best, and think they probably are a group of struggling people, who happen to be “illegal” workers in America to support their family whom they never get to see and probably don’t like their lives very much. Who knows what the real story is, but I do know it’s wrong to make people feel so unwelcomed, unwanted, etc. when they really didn’t do anything besides what most families live for, which is to support their loved ones. Whether their illegal or not, they are people too who have a lot of people depending on them more often than not, and maybe this is just the privileged girl in me talking but I like having them around. They add character to my white life and never have I ever met a first generation latino man or woman who isn’t caring, loving, and all the other synonyms that are associated with those words.

your totally right! I was thinking about what Dr. Richards said about the watching gay porn thing and your right. Or at least I agree with your theory that it's not the interaction between 2 women or 2 men that is pleasurable to straight people, it's just watching sexual intercourse in general is hot. With that being said, I think some people may get aroused by gay porn because it’s the "unknown" or the "forbidden fruit" which is always interesting unless it's some sick taboo. Also, I am very happy to hear that Dr. Richard’s made a convincing argument that being gay is not a choice. But, with that being said…I don’t think being gay is a choice (like I just stated haah) but I do think being bisexual might be a choice under certain circumstances.

Something that made me very upset in one of the lectures was the obvious feelings from black audience members that they were opposed to homosexuality. (Side note: I’m not only talking to blacks, I’m talking to any person of minority who feels this way about gays but I’m choosing to say blacks because of what I have personally witnessed in both the lecture and my live life). This is an area of great interest to me because of the absolute, inarguable hypocrisy regarding it.

There are incredible parallels of the socially induced struggles both blacks and gays face living in America. To point out a few, both face personal oppression (job discrimination), laws against their freedoms (no need for an example), non-minorities uncomfortable emotions when in their presence (white’s assumption that blacks are judging them and the assumption that a homosexual is “unnatural”), and the utter fear non-minorities have of them (assuming every black person is dangerous and that every gay is checking out their package or in the process of ending the human civilization).

With that being said there are differences: blacks have been oppressed for longer and under much worse circumstances, making bigotry remarks towards a black is very much frowned upon today, but the same “political correctness” does not apply for gays (especially because most men see gays as incompetent at standing up for themselves). In addition, something I have learned from my interaction with white, republican, “waspy” college age men is their opinion on gays is much more cruel than that of blacks. Apperantly gays are “disgusting” and blacks are “loud, annoying”. I think things would be different if I lived in the south, maybe the republicans would be ruder and display more hatred towards blacks and call gay’s sinners or something.

The problem today though is the government gives the American people a distinct reason to have a problem with gays. By not allowing them to get married, or have children is saying to the public “they are not equal” furthermore giving the public permission to discriminate, giving the public permission to think they are better because they have these rights but the gays don’t.

Which brings me back to what I am upset about...If blacks are still talking about oppression and institutionalized racism or even harboring feelings regarding it while supporting gay discrimination, all validity to their words is gone in my opinion; because if they cant see the problem with their own intolerance, how can they expect that whites see a problem with being racist?

Being gay is not a choice. I am not gay. I am not religious. I am not some self proclaimed peace loving to the world girl. I am just emotional about this very subject. I just think it is really sad. I think it is sad that blacks have to wake up every day and know they are going to encounter some type of struggle, and because they know what this emotion feels like, it is really sad that they are not willing to put aside their feelings of homosexuality being “unnatural” and recognize that at one point they too were seen as unnatural. As we all know, at one point whites were so ashamed that they were attracted to blacks they had to hide it, lie about it, just like homosexuals have to hid being attracted to someone of the same sex.

What is “natural” is relative. But what is not relative is the feeling shared by both blacks and homosexuals; that feeling of being suppressed in society, the fear of scepticism on how a stranger will treat you, and the list goes on all because you are different.

Oh sheesh… I don’t know how true that is about Oprah. That’s a pretty bold statement since the money isn’t going to the school, and it wouldn’t even make sense because Penn State is not the only school that holds THON. Though we always do the best of course. But, what Dr. Richards failed to mention is Penn State is not a college where many black people are eager to come to. Despite the fact it is a state school, it is still expensive and Pennsylvania is not a racial diverse state when you discount Philadelphia. My roommate who lives in Georgia always talks about how there are no black people at Penn State, and all her friends who go to schools in the south have significantly more black people, and black friends. In a more racially diverse school it seems like everyone is integrated.

When Dr. Richards talked about the 4-year-old girl who was called “dirty” reminded me of this horribly racist experience I had in high school. We had this class called childhood development. I went to Conestoga Highschool and the class had “Conestoga Preschool” students in it and each highschooler was pared up with a preschooler to play with for the class period. Basically we were free babysitters for these preschool kids. Anyways, I was playing with my girl Annie (who was asian) and us two were playing house with my friend Constance (who was black) and her girl, Tina, was playing with us (she was Latino). And Tina seemed upset so Constance said “is something wrong?” And Tina goes “yeah.. I’m sad because my daddy said I can’t play with my friend because she is black. What’s wrong with black people?” Both Constance and I looked at each other, looked at her, and said “uuhhhhhh”. Literally! We had nothing to say! What are we going to say, “Your dad is a huge ass hole and you don’t realize that yet” or “There is nothing wrong with black people you should play with her anyways.” Not to mention, the craziest part about it was she said it right to her Black mentor, not thinking anything of it. I never understood it. Me and Constance laughed about this all year being like “what’s wrong with that girl…” (I know it seems horrible cause she was 5 years old) but we didn’t know that she didn’t see color. She didn’t realize Constance was black just like her friend that she couldn’t play with.

What is interesting though is that she literally didn’t see color, unlike those kids who chose the black baby. Perhaps she was just so sheltered from the media that she wasn’t constantly seeing white everywhere. I think that is the reason the little kids choose the white baby, because those are the babies on TV, in the commercials, so they think it’s what is normal despite the fact they are black. Does that mean they don’t see themselves are “normal” at that age? Or do they? It’s all so confusing!!

I’m white so maybe it’s a white thing that since I have it, I don’t appreciate it. But what I don’t understand is why blacks want to be lighter. Black skin color is beautiful no matter how dark. I don’t like my skin because it’s too light, I get lots of freckles, you can see my scars from when I had acne, and I rarely see such profound imperfections on a black person. Why is it that a color can be so unwanted and another color is envied? It’s literally is COLOR. I understand blacks wanting to change the way they dress or something to shy away from stereotypes, but how does ones level of darkness make them beautiful or better?

Perhaps it can be related to whites but the opposite. White people always want to be darker; maybe it’s just that in between colored skin that is the true perfection, you know olivy whites and light blacks. White people are willing to get cancer just to get that skin color, and (I’m not positive of this but…) blacks put themselves through pain to get lighter skin. That is my theory but my mom proves it completely wrong because she has dark, olive skin and hates it, she claims it looks “green” in the winter and when she steps out in the sun she looks like she put one too many coats of self tanner on.

It’s literally crazy! I have always hated my skin and at this very moment I’ve realized I’m over it and to embrace it. I truly see now that people always are wanting a different this and different that.

No joke. This guy who works out at my gym is a walking melanoma. If he didn’t have white people hair, nose, etc. you would think he is black. He is SO tan. And he puts his life at risk to look like that, while black girls are saying light skin is the most beautiful.

People need to learn to love the body they are in because this world is a crazy place and there is no right answer, there is no beautiful. Maybe someone with a perfectly symmetrical face is beautiful, I’ll give you that but this whole obsessed over skin color is just nuts.

6/20

Speaking as a person, who does feel guilt, I would like to explain to you why I feel that way and maybe why others felt that way. Maybe guilt isn't the right word but what I do feel is conflict within my understanding of how I am so lucky to be who I am, and I feel "guilt" because I didn't deserve it more than anyone else who was born, I simply got lucky. I watch the news and I see all the horrible things that happen to people everyday, and I feel guilty for living such a simple life when others have to endure this. I don't know if I feel guilty for being white, but I feel guilty for not helping the Native Americans, and not being aware of the constant struggle that people of color encounter.

6/20

I really enjoyed this lecture and learning about the stages I have gone through (as a white woman) and the stresses I have felt regarding when and when not to acknowledge race. When Dr. Richards said that thing about his student asking to speak to the T.A. and if the student just said the black T.A. it would make everything much easier, it reminded me of the numerous times that I have been in a store and been helped by a black woman and I always would think “can I say it… can I not…?” Not knowing if it’s rude or ignorant but now, I know it’s just my innate political correctness kicking in.

What stuck out to me the most was that freaky video clip of “Prusian Blue”, those twin sisters’s who sung about the beauty of being white and how the holocaust was an exaderation. I looked them up on the Internet to see how successful they were, and shockingly they were fairly successful. But luckily, people did act out against them and they definitely received much more negative feedback than positive. I had no idea such “white supremacist” organizations still existed… I can’t even imagine how pissed they are that our President is half black. I did find that the bands’ website and MySpace page were shut down as of 2009 which is relieving that some action has been taken because after watching that video, I would assume it wasn’t these eager young haters that took it down.

It’s really shocking to me that the government doesn’t have some type of law to get rid of these public declarations of hate. If there were a law, it would probably help the situation by given white supremacists less resources to encourage and spread their views.

In conclusion to my post, I would like to acknowledge that I have feel immense guilt after listening to the lectures for this class. I am really surprised not more white people in the audience felt that way, or even black people. What I do feel most guilty about is the current neglect of the poverty within Native American tribes. I feel very guilty about this because both my family and me have helped people from other countries that suffer from poverty; I even donate money every month to the SPCA! I am helping dogs and cats before people, specifically people who have endured such horrible things and live in our own country and were the first people to live here! It’s so sad that nothing is ever talked about regarding the Native Americans and just looking at all the care America had to help the people of Haiti, if people got together like that to help the Native American’s such great things could be accomplished!

I hope this made sense... for some reason I’m having difficulty articulating my thoughts right now/writing clearly.