Sorry,did you just quote yourself at the top of your article to prove your own point?

That third step is where things get tricky. Ideally it should be a collaborative effort, and more of a "maybe next time we could try xyz" rather than "if you dont want me to throw a tantrum again, this needs to change".
My recent post Scale it down until you can do it: Applying the GTD rules to everyday life

Advice is a challenging thing. Many people, when they ask for advice, really want to feel listened to and supported. It's much more valuable to let them come to their own answer, even if you think that you know what they 'should' do. Because in life, we never really know what we 'should' do, there are too many variables in play.

When giving specific advice, I try to avoid "you should" altogether, because I realize what I'm saying is "you are doing it wrong, and i know how to do it right", and that puts the situation on uneven ground, and nobody likes to be lectured at, especially when they're confiding in you for support.
My recent post Scale it down until you can do it: Applying the GTD rules to everyday life

I got started with "Radical Acceptance" by Tara Brach, then moved on to "The Joy of Living" by Rinpoche Yongey Mingyur. Currently reading "Thoughts without a thinker" by Dr Stephen Epstein. All are recommended.