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I would advise myself: Live a healthy life (don't start smokng and exercise a little each day). Don't give up your artistic self for the practical self - both are important. When you drink too much, you make stupid, stupid mistakes that you will regret the rest of your life. The anger you feel right now is because of the scars on your heart and soul. These will only go away when you face your fears and forgive those who have hurt you. I know, I know how much they hurt - but you will overcome them and finally find peace. Look in the mirror and see "pretty" because you are worthy.