I've always done this, pushed away men as they got close to me. I found myself chasing the ones that didn't want me, but fighting against the ones that did. When I was single, I would wish desperately for that one special someone to be in my life, help me raise my family, and be my love and support. But as soon as someone like that entered my life, I got scared. I think that's the biggest reason: FEAR. It's the fear of getting hurt, it's the fear that he's the wrong one, it's the fear that there's someone out there that's meant for you and you are missing it because you're with someone else, it's the fear of the effect it will have on the balance you have created in your life..... Too many reasons to list. But when it's right, the fear disappears and you suddenly wonder why you ever questioned this love in the first place.

I am soooo jealous! And happy for you! This is a dream come true for anyone. Good luck in making this a successful endeavor (you know you will). I am truly inspired by you.