Boy...just a little more douche juice and he would've failed the test.

That's actually a common misconception. The ramps are under the supervision of neither Athletics, nor the UIHC, but (obviously) the Parking and Transportation Department. They interact between the needs of the UIHC and Athletics, and, unfortunately in my opinion, have to have space available for football-related parking on those days. Staff working still have a ramp and lot available (Newton Road and Lot 13), and the nearest Hospital Ramps are allocated for football attendees with handicap placards, and patients/visitors.

Wouldn't it make sense to apply punishments of the past to these pirates of the present? He should not be tried in the U.S. or Kenya, but by the Captain of the Bainbridge. If found guilty, the proper punishment would be a keelhauling or walking the plank.