Nope.

So a giant ballsac tried to eat Zelda...

I'd go in and immediately say "shut up and take my money!"

Wouldn't they need Nintendo's permission to make these?

Haha, the TWILIGHT realm. HA. HA.

OOT remake for the Wii U ;)

Personally, I have faith in Nintendo. I doubt that they will make such grave marketing errors as Hombre suggests. And since I can't do anything about it, my only option is to have confidence that Nintendo won't release a console that's crap.

The problem with making Zelda ass-kickingly hard again is that Nintendo caters to the casual market. You may not like it, but it's true. Making Zelda as you suggest would alienate a large group of people, the demographic who actually own the Wii system.
I agree with many of your points, such as making the world bigger and the story less linear. However, I think the story should stay, as story is SO important for keeping me immersed in a game.
Ocarina is one of my favorite Zelda games, and I think the original Zelda is pretty meh. So there's my opinion.
All in all, reading critiques like this makes me pretty depressed. It makes me think that my favorite series of games is actually crap. Oh well.

That's what I thought. Wasn't the ending to that almost exactly the same as that of the original Super Mario Bros (and almost all subsequent Mario games)?

I really wish we could have a Zelda game with a more expansive narrative. A darker and more detailed story coupled with Zelda's naturally enthralling gameplay would be able to create a truly magical experience. Unfortunately, I don't see it happening anytime in the near future.